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I dont miss him

Deroglitter

Midshipman
I have read every military meme that e presses deep love and sorrowful tears when a spouse/partner is on deployment or away, my DH has been away training for a year and comes back every other weekend, thing is I don't miss him anymore and resent when he comes home, he spends his time sat on the sofa watching g the Simpsons, leaving his crap lying all over the place, winds the kids up and generally being an a##e. I work long hours and deal with family life. I get replies like "oh he works hard for his country" "he needs to rest" or my favourite "He's in the navy" .
So, because he's in the navy does that give him the right to come home and be a lazy inconsiderate bunghole?
Why does his profession give him higher kudos than say, my job, which by the way is pretty damn special, a paediatric nurse, plus I've got everything else to attend to....
When his training day ends he goes to the pub, bowling, the gym,into town, hangs out with the boys!!!
He's on the train literally 19 minutes from home and I can feel my blood pressure already rising.
I'm assuming I will receive a barrage of abuse back for daring to selfishly not be kowtowing to my military spousal life, but you know what, I deserve a rant too and am not all starry eyed yay for my important naval husband. I'm tired.
 
Everyone's entitled to a rant.But thats what can happen when You marry an Admiral of the Fleet. I know,all You initially wanted was a solid gold bathroom,and a pet Tiger. But now Your stuck with the sack of porridge. Such is life.
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
I have read every military meme that e presses deep love and sorrowful tears when a spouse/partner is on deployment or away, my DH has been away training for a year and comes back every other weekend, thing is I don't miss him anymore and resent when he comes home, he spends his time sat on the sofa watching g the Simpsons, leaving his crap lying all over the place, winds the kids up and generally being an a##e. I work long hours and deal with family life. I get replies like "oh he works hard for his country" "he needs to rest" or my favourite "He's in the navy" .
So, because he's in the navy does that give him the right to come home and be a lazy inconsiderate bunghole?
Why does his profession give him higher kudos than say, my job, which by the way is pretty damn special, a paediatric nurse, plus I've got everything else to attend to....
When his training day ends he goes to the pub, bowling, the gym,into town, hangs out with the boys!!!
He's on the train literally 19 minutes from home and I can feel my blood pressure already rising.
I'm assuming I will receive a barrage of abuse back for daring to selfishly not be kowtowing to my military spousal life, but you know what, I deserve a rant too and am not all starry eyed yay for my important naval husband. I'm tired.
Bin him then
 

Sumo

War Hero
he is only 19 mins away on a train,is he takin the piss, it takes me longer than that to travel to and from home?
when he shows up at weekend have your bags packed had over the kids and say see you Sunday I am duty weekend
 
Last edited:

Sumo

War Hero
I would just like it if heput his tea cup in the sink
many moons ago when my brother tried the lazy slob approach his wife decided to do nothing for him, no cooking washing or cleaning and no bed time play. He got the message, took a while but he eventually got the message. Best you can do is talk to him, not at him or little subtle hints we bloke don't do subtle.
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
The fact someone is in the Navy, Army, Civilian or both (Air Force) doesn't mean they cannot be a hoop, frankly.

Hard to believe, but even I'm not perfect. Sometimes.
 

Dredd

War Hero
Super Moderator
DH?

Divisional Hand?

Directing Hat?

Is that not a mumsnet term?



PS - yes, I do know what it actually stands for. Same as DS and DD. We are very used to acronyms here.
 

fishhead

War Hero
On a serious note it is well known that when a member of the family is away from home working those remaining behind develope their own way of coping with the absence. They slip into a routine which after while usually works well for them until the person who has been absent returns and knocks the routine out of kilter. The feeling of resentment is far from uncommon and the returnees thinking they deserve a hero's welcome cannot understand when they don't get it. If they compound it by being a slob it will make matters worse but they see it as little time to be away from the rigours of service life and to truly relax. A quiet word may be needed to jog the memory of what family duties are and standard that is expected so as not to annoy everyone else in the house.
 

barny006

War Hero
I know my wife used to resent me trying to pick up the pieces when I came home, like asking when/or why this and that bill was/ wasn't paid, soon learned to but out.
 

Deroglitter

Midshipman
Just came back to this after nearly a year, some of the comments made me laugh. Unfortunately they don't seem to make OMO anymore... Pity, lol. Situation is still pretty much the same, I did let him know that when he's at work he's in the navy and can faff around all he wants, but at hone he is husband and dad. He is more than capable of joining in with the mundane civvyness of home life , he needs to realise that, no, he will not get a heros welcome for going to the pub with the lads.
When he's deployed, I worry and fret and am genuinely pleased he is still alive but if he just trundles home after being on base all week (live off base) from, in his words "fannying about doing shit" then he can sure as hell fanny around doing shit at home too. I'm just not gooey eyed as other spouses, too long at this game.
Don't get me wrong this is not a dis on the navy or even married to the navy, but more of a moan about inconsideration. I've done my share of driving cross country to sit and cheer in draughty outside benches, flag waving, cheering. Fretting and all the other highs and lows of supporting my navy husband. Its my turn for the cheering section.
Just saying......
 

skyvet

GCM
Trade him in for a sundodger. We take courses in domesticity, and are highly skilled in all aspects of household maintenance, dhobying, cooking and sprog management. :D
 

Sumo

War Hero
Trade him in for a sundodger. We take courses in domesticity, and are highly skilled in all aspects of household maintenance, dhobying, cooking and sprog management. :D

@skyvet I don’t think how to flush SLOP, SAN, SEW; How to fix the dhobying machine and tumble dryer, so we don’t smell so bad and looking after sprog Part3’s is what this lady is after, as for cooking leave that to the Galley slaves.
 
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