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I am sorry


Deleted 88339

I came to say i am sorry for my posts. I am genuiely am.

I am sorry for lashing out.

I understand people are trying to help. I am just confused about everything and i dont know anything anymore.

If i joined something like the navy maybe i could find my place in this world and maybe i wont die so young hence why i ended up here.

Growing up i always wanted die young so i wont have live to see the future or see what i will become.

I dont want to die but dont want to live neither.

I have made myself unpopular and probably hated on this forum so staying here is no longer an option.

Take care everyone and have a lovely week


War Hero
It takes a lot to apologise - a positive!!! Take heart.

Seriously though, if you analyse your posts and our comments. It comes down to you always seeing the worst, thinking the worst.

Think positively and positive things will happen. Your young, a plus. Your intelligent - a plus. Your alive - a plus.

Your not unpopular - well ok maybe you are, but that is only down to your belief that all and everything is against you. Not so.

Get your arse down to the recruiting office and just talk to the staff there. By talking you will make a decision whether Navy is something you would like to have a go at.

As we have said all along - it is all down to you to take ownership of your life.

You have to remember a lot of we we say and write on here is down to the fact many of us have been there and done it. It isn't as if we are just gobbing off without any experience. Being told we don't understand is just not true either. your 2020 was my 1975. At 23 I had been around the world, seen much of many countries. How - because I took control of my life at 15 years of age and dropped round my recruiting office and found out what it was all about. Liked what I heard so joined up. Much to my parents dislike. But I didn't wish to become another factory worker in the North East.

So cheer up, stop looking at the bad and seek out the good. It is out there. Your never alone.


War Hero
Super Moderator
I echo what Waspie has said, by 23 I'd been in the RN for 7 years, I had just finished my second sea draft and about to start my third and been and seen loads around the bazaars.

As to not knowing what it's like to be young in 2020, I would say that apart from the curse of social media you have it a lot easier than us oldies. I joined in 1973 when there were power cuts, constant railway strikes (British Rail!!), the economy was a mess, pay and conditions were crap and inflation was through the roof, as was unemployment.

I'm well aware of what the young are going through in 2020 as my youngest is in his 20's (he has the law degree) but fortunately has a job, my eldest has a mortgage and two kids and was made redundant at the beginning of the pandemic so your not the only one with problems.

Your not hated on here, some of the adverse comments you may have received, or perceived as so, are borne out of frustration. You asked all these questions in January, were given advice on what we considered the best way forward only to come back 6 months later with the same questions having done nothing, surely you can see how frustrating that can be?

Personally I would say you need to see your GP, all the talk of not wanting to live is a bit disconcerting to say the least.


War Hero
Rose, why not volunteer for Samaritans - then you'll see that there are people a LOT worse off than you and it might help with your self-confidence issues.


War Hero
Nobody on here hates you everyone has tried to be helpful and ease your concerns.
Life is not easy, being young is not easy, but we have all been there.
The guys on here are not privileged people who got where they where cos daddy had money, they are ALL hard working people who have battled through life (and the RN) and they have an empathy with those who wish to do the same.
The world loves a TRIER, however those who do not try but just lie down and say i cannot do it get nowhere.
Try making a list of your achievements.
Getting a Law Degree fantastic

Stop worrying that you are a burden to your parents, you most certainly will not be. My kids are 48 and 50 years of age and if they need a little help they will certainly be given it without any strings attached. My experience of life is that mums are always their for their kids of any gender. as are dads who always seem to have a special extra interest and love for daughters.
Finally have you tried speaking with your parents to see how they feel about you living with them

My guess is that both are extremely proud of you and your achievements and love you to bits
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