How unlucky are you?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by slim, Mar 11, 2007.

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  1. I'm so unlucky that if my oppo and I were trapped on a desert Island with one woman so had to share her, I would get the half that eats :evil:

    Best that caretaker
     
  2. I'm so unlucky I would fall in a bucket of tits and come out sucking my thumb!
     
  3. Im sooo unlucky I would be the poor cow you got to share..lol
     
  4. if it wasnt for bad luck I would have no luck
     
  5. I am so unlucky because I am a Buddhist and in my last life I was born as a flea.
    A funny thing happened to me and my mate Smudge (also a flea), and I'd like to share it with you.

    One winter year, me and smudge headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. Smudge got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, I arrived shiverin' and a shakin'. Smudger asked, "What the hell happened to you?"

    So I told him "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!"

    Smudge said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to Brize Norton, go straight to the mens toilet, wait for a young crabfat pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm".

    I thought that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for us to head for the sunny beaches again. Smudge arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, I arrived again shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold I was.
    Smudge said "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?"

    To which I replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens shitter and this crab fat pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!

    That's how unlucky I am...........
     
  6. Slim I would think it very lucky you get the half that eats and it also stops her talking.

    Nutty
     
  7. Sorry Nutty forgot to mention she was a vegetarian :oops:
     
  8. Thats OK she will eat meat but never swallow, I can live with that.

    Nutty

    PS Win double cos you are not the person required to satisfy her, just sit back and enjoy. Still feel unlucky?
     
  9. You're never unlucky, just not as lucky as everyone else!
     
  10. oo sounds like a hommer simpson song....
     
  11. If Dolly Parton had triplets, I`d be the one on the bottle.
     
  12. I'm so unlucky that whenever I have a wank even my hand goes to sleep :cry:
     
  13. I am unlucky, I am not stiil in the mop with a fine lot of comrades like you fine lads.
     
  14. I've always been unlucky. I had a rocking horse once, and it died.
     
  15. I once dreamt that I was marooned on a tropical paradise with 7 broad minded nympho belly dancers. In the dream, I was Elton John.

    How unlucky was that?
     

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