How to make a Woman happy

#1
If this has been up before my apoligies

Nutty


It's not difficult to make a woman happy - a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

without forgetting to:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. and … never forget her birthday!


How To Make A Man Happy


a woman only needs to:



1. Show up naked
2. Bring booze
3. Bring a naked female friend(Rod-Gearings suggestion, excellent)


:w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
 
#2
Nutty said:
If this has been up before my apoligies

Nutty


It's not difficult to make a woman happy - a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

without forgetting to:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. and … never forget her birthday!


How To Make A Man Happy


a woman only needs to:



1. Show up naked
2. Bring booze


:w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
And bring a friend :thumright:
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#3
Some people say you should give a girl expensive gifts on your first date, some say flowers, some just say be yourself and go Dutch. I say the quickest way to a womans heart means being more creative. You need to suprise her in the most spectacular of ways. Here is what you will need:

1 6' x 3' wooden crate
Some rope
1 Car battery
1 set of jump cables
1 pair of rubber gloves (yellow are best)
1 tub of swarfega
1 pair of hip waders
1 pair of safety goggles
2 Otters
1 oily rag
2 rolls of gaffa tape
1 lonely forrest
1 shovel.

8O :twisted:
 

GPZ_pilot

Lantern Swinger
#4
sgtpepperband said:
Here is what you will need:

1 6' x 3' wooden crate
Some rope
1 Car battery
1 set of jump cables
1 pair of rubber gloves (yellow are best)
1 tub of swarfega
1 pair of hip waders
1 pair of safety goggles
2 Otters
1 oily rag
2 rolls of gaffa tape
1 lonely forrest
1 shovel.
Man, you are one perverted old bugger...
 

Achmed

Lantern Swinger
#6
Nutty said:
If this has been up before my apoligies

Nutty


It's not difficult to make a woman happy - a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

without forgetting to:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. and … never forget her birthday!


How To Make A Man Happy


a woman only needs to:



1. Show up naked
2. Bring booze
3. Bring a naked female friend(Rod-Gearings suggestion, excellent)


:w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
Nutty, you forgot the food..... good curry for after :rendeer:
 
#8
rod-gearing said:
Nutty said:
If this has been up before my apoligies

Nutty


It's not difficult to make a woman happy - a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

without forgetting to:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. and … never forget her birthday!


How To Make A Man Happy


a woman only needs to:



1. Show up naked
2. Bring booze


:w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
And bring a naked male friend :thumright:

:excited:
 
#10
thingy said:
rod-gearing said:
Nutty said:
If this has been up before my apoligies

Nutty


It's not difficult to make a woman happy - a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

without forgetting to:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. and … never forget her birthday!


How To Make A Man Happy


a woman only needs to:



1. Show up naked
2. Bring booze


:w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
And bring a naked male friend :thumright:

:excited:
I never said that! There again if you've never tried it you'll never know!
 
#11
I've often found that the quickest way to a woman's heart is directly through the rib cage, slightly right of the left breast.
Forget
1 6' x 3' wooden crate
Some rope
1 Car battery
1 set of jump cables
1 pair of rubber gloves (yellow are best)
1 tub of swarfega
1 pair of hip waders
1 pair of safety goggles
2 Otters
1 oily rag
2 rolls of gaffa tape


A chainsaw will do.........and the shovel and forest come in handy.
 
#13
rod-gearing said:
thingy said:
rod-gearing said:
Nutty said:
If this has been up before my apoligies

Nutty


It's not difficult to make a woman happy - a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

without forgetting to:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
54. and … never forget her birthday!


How To Make A Man Happy


a woman only needs to:



1. Show up naked
2. Bring booze


:w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
And bring a naked male friend :thumright:

:excited:
I never said that! There again if you've never tried it you'll never know!
True enough. Bring your wife along then and you can show me........ :nemo:
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
#20
The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:
SAFER:
SAFEST:
ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some wine .




13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favorite one.

13. Potential Murder Suspect


Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS !!!
 
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