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How To Explain Sex To Children

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Book Reviewer
 

SONAR-BENDER

War Hero
Though I eventually sussed it all out (I think!) was there EVER actually a book about the Birds and the bees?

Surely the inter species thing would not have worked? Duh, eggs and pollen............
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Though I eventually sussed it all out (I think!) was there EVER actually a book about the Birds and the bees?

Surely the inter species thing would not have worked? Duh, eggs and pollen............

I've seen some DVD's with birds with dogs and ponies, dunno if they bred though.
 

Sumo

War Hero
Due to sea time in my children’s early formative years, go and ask your mother on my occasional RR time at home always seemed to work quite well? Also saves the kids using the pens and pencils, to draw on the walls.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
I sat my lot down in front of the telly and made them watch *Spartacus* Seasons 1 ,2 and 3 on SKY. They now associate any form of sex with a grisly and violent death, so I don't expect any unwanted pregnancies in my family unit for quite a long time to come.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
I have now downloaded, printed and glued the following on the fridge door and the door on the kitchen cupboard that houses all the sweets and crisps.

You do any of this and cause more wear and tear on my wallet...........





You will end up like this...........








So far, so good.
 
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Rumrat

War Hero
I told my nephew about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases and he told me about Ward 24 I think it's called (the VD clinic) and then told me about forms of clap I've never heard of, and the cures. It was quite informative and I was glad I brought the subject up.
He is telling me more when he has finished showing me more about using various electronic gadgets I own but cannot use.
Ah technology.
 
I told my nephew about the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases...

.

Aye Steve, we read your book:

<<...DVDs. One popular misconception gaining currency is that these are 'wee, round, silvery-plastic, recording media.'

Ah so - But not so.

It can only now be revealed that "DVDs" is just a huge, alphabetically-indexed catalogue of all those STDs contracted, diagnosed, shared (but rarely ever cured)from across the Globe (Editor: surely "and Laurel?") by Rum Ration's popular black crippled hypochondriac; currently bed-blocking/swamping at Midshire's Cottaging Hospital whilst his obsolescent carabang is being re-infested with those Bombay Runners he* sorely loves and misses.

The photographs featured therein (incorrectly attributed to his personal award-losing photographer, "No-Way Christine") are X-rated and are not for the squeamish; especially that x-ray plate at illustration 752, page 947 depicting the unsuccessful attempt at removing two home-made miniature stainless steel broken umbrellas...>>
 

Rumrat

War Hero
I can honestly say I never caught the boat up.
I shagged the same bird as my oppo in mombers, he squoze, I never.
He recons he must have gone deeper, but nah, scrawny white pecker, he shook his, I kick mine.;P
 

Sharkey

Banned
I can honestly say I never caught the boat up.
I shagged the same bird as my oppo in mombers, he squoze, I never.
He recons he must have gone deeper, but nah, scrawny white pecker, he shook his, I kick mine.;P


I'll rephrase that, did he enter via the torpedo loading hatch while you went through the donk shop hatch.
 
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