How to disable a woman.

Discussion in 'RR Greatest Threads' started by TimeToJoinUp, May 13, 2009.

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  1. So, the internet is full of advice for women about how to disable a would-be male attacker. These range from kicking in the balls, gouging out eyes, stabbing with pens to stamping on feet.

    Isn't it about time we had the same advice for men? After all, some men are incapable of defending themselves against butch macho women who are trying to rape them (see the beer rape thread ;) ).

    Here's some advice to start you off.

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  2. Foreplay? :twisted:
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Just tell her there are two shoe shops with a sale on. She will be transfixed for at least 5 seconds working out which one to go to first.
  4. Haha, you know us so well!
  5. Kick her in the cnut......
  6. I love shoe shops :eek:mfg: :love5:
  7. Did you see Gok when he said that women only need 4 pairs of shoes? I have over 50, half of those are flip flops though so I think it is ok!

  8. I kno i was shocke im only 18 and have about 50 odd pairs too but ive only got 2 pairs of flip flops 3 pairs of trainers and two pairs of walking boots and the rest are beautiful heels and the best thing is im going shoe shopping this weekend

    ( need a few pairs to see which look good with my prom dress for next week((well thats just my excuse to go shoe shopping))
  9. 2 left feet or a wooden leg? 8O
  10. Cancel her credit/debit cards?
  11. Clench fist, straighten arm, pull arm back, drive forearm between females legs and into females box, lifting her off the ground. Whilst making a suitably Bruce Lee-esque noise.

    This is known as a FACSOD.

    The Forearm CnutSmash Of Death
  12. Mental note, never upset MLP 8O

  13. Most females in the RN need only one pair, comfortable ones.

    Standby to repel boarders!!!
  14. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    :lol: :lol:

    My Mrs. often says with all seriousness, "You can never have too many pairs of shoes." Now , can any girlies give me a sensible argument in support of that statement, because the Mrs can't. Surely, a pair for each requirement is enough: smart, casual, training etc. and if you really want to go mad go for one of each colour. I would be frightened to count how many pairs of shoes my other half owns.
  15. Swiftly whip out your samurai sword and deftly amputate her legs at the hip. This not only momentarily stuns the bitch but allows you to stick her to the floor by means of her piss flaps (a bit like the DSRV making a good vacuum seal on the DSRV seat of a submarine). You then have two options, either take flight whilst she 'snails' about trying to break the seal or stick around to enjoy her incapacitated status. For instance you could remove her eyes with a sharpened wooden lolly stick and laugh at her discomfort, spend a fiver on buying twenty tabs then leisurely stub each and every one out on her face or even buy a tube of superglue and glue all her nostrils and lips together thus enabling you to watch her slowly turn blue/purple as the cow suffocates in front of you. This list is purely subjective and is in no way intended as an instruction that must be strictly adhered to and is therefore open to personal interpretation.
  16. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    I thought Monty had offered to cure that for you.
  17. Cure what?
  18. How many years of education :cry: :cry:
    • Like Like x 1

  19. Oh ok ( gets worse going uni in sept)

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