How to deal with irritating seat mates...


War Hero
Book Reviewer
We’ve all been there.

The guy next to you on the plane or train wants to talk. About himself, mostly.

Or when dinner is served, his manners are deplorable and he smacks loudly or chews with his mouth open.

He might even fall asleep and drool all over your shoulder.

And she might even be nosy and insist on looking at whatever is on your computer screen.

No doubt this has happened to us more times than we can count. So I've come up with a brilliant sure fire way of “handling†that nosy neighbour in the seat next to you.

Follow these instructions:

1. Quietly and calmly reach for your laptop case

2. Remove your laptop from it’s case; turn it on

3. Log in

4. Make sure the annoying man or woman seated next to you can clearly see the screen

5. Close your eyes, lift your head and your hands upwards, mouthing something silently, as if in prayer

6) Then lower your right hand and calmly click this link
It doesn't even matter which class of travel you are in.
Witness a near riot by a group of drunken doctors (brits) in business class between LHR and Miami, a city and airport to avoid at all costs.
And, some manic depressive slowly tearing a newspaper, a big Sunday edition, into strips in First Class. I found out he got stopped by immigration in Tokyo and chucked out of the country.
By and large though, and I travel and awful lot, most people are perfectly ok and pleasant.
I've got to know now route by route what to expect; biggest laugh so far was a lady with a turd enroute between Lagos and London, and no it wasn't hers, calmly waiting for the loo queue to get rid of something left by her husband!!

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