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How to attending boyfriends passing out ceremony

Surfer55

Midshipman
My Boyfriend is due to pass out of Raleigh in early December
However I'm worried that he won't be able to invite me over any of his family members as we haven't been going out that long and I don't want to put pressure on him to pick me over them

So my question is, is there a way I can attend without his knowledge so that he will be surprised that I'm there and then we can share this special moment together without him upsetting any of his family members

I'm immeasurably proud of him but it's killing me that I might not be able to share his success and show him just how proud I am

Thank you for any help or advice you can offer
 

Polto

War Hero
Although Dapperdun is of course correct as you have to be on a guest list, I don't know if there's any reason why he wouldnt be able to invite you. I dont think relationships are 'means tested' as regards to duration etc. Assuming you have some form of contact with him maybe drop a couple of hints and let him know how you feel - it might serve to keep him on his toes whilst he lurches towards the conclusion of Phase One...maybe...!
 

Drakey

War Hero
There is no limit to the amount of people that can be invited to a passing out parade. It is not limited to just family. However, if you are not on the list at the main gate you might find it difficult to gain access.
 

adqual

Badgeman
I think the point is that it is a surprise,therefore as has been said, he would have to notify staff of who is coming on the day,he wouldn't know surfer is arriving,green man/woman on gate wouldn't let her in as not on list,that's how it used to work,to stop unwanted guests arriving not saying surfer is unwanted.
 

Surfer55

Midshipman
Ok thanks all good advice, the other problem I have is that he's terrified of his parents finding out about me......
If I was on his guest list would he's other guests know I was there?
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Ok thanks all good advice, the other problem I have is that he's terrified of his parents finding out about me......
If I was on his guest list would he's other guests know I was there?
No, but you would be likely to bump into them, unless you go incognito :)
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
Why doesn't he want you to meet them, you are going to find it difficult not to be seen by the parents/family at the passing in day.
 

Surfer55

Midshipman
They can see me, they don't know who i am

He hasn't told his family because of my gender
He's not confident enough yet to tell them yet
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
They can see me, they don't know who i am

He hasn't told his family because of my gender
He's not confident enough yet to tell them yet
The only problem will be that you're not to walk around willy nilly:)
As long as you aren't holding hands, then you'd think his family will think that you are someone else's guest.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
If your boyfriends family aren't aware of his, er, "preferences", it may be an idea to step back on this one.

If they aren't aware and find out on the day, the fallout could be quite dramatic, to say the least!!
 

Pvivax

Badgeman
Option 1 - Do nothing

Option 2 - Get your boyfriend to include you on the list and go incognito - bear in mind you will both have a miserable time "avoiding" each other and his family may well notice - if they find out on the day , as Wrecker says ,than things may turn unpleasant for everybody present.

Option 3 He 'fesses up to his family - they will either accept it in which case everyone is happy or they will not and not attend the Passing Out Parade - but you can - will you be happy ,will he?

I think the ball is very much in your boyfriend's court. If I recall correctly the names will have to be given to HMS Raleigh fairly soon so he had better decide what to do sharpish.
 

Surfer55

Midshipman
Yeah these are all things I need to think about and try discuss with him

Everyone else knows apart from his parents

Thank you for all the advice though
 

Branch-Hopper

War Hero
Info Ops solution:

As all his class know, get one of the girls in his class to put you on her list. You can then attend "incognito", avoiding both groups.
 
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