How are you going to die

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by higthepig, May 23, 2006.

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    got this from arrse,iput myRR name in ,im going to die in a cinema when a guy runs amock with a gun,i get shot in the head and bleed to death.
  2. chieftiff

    chieftiff War Hero Moderator

    OMG I am going to get my shoelace trapped in an escalator, dragged to the top and die of internal injuries.
  3. While enjoying the cooking experience at a teppanyaki grill, your skilled but inebriated chef errantly sends a knife end over end until it buries itself in your forehead

  4. Dont know how im going to die . But I want to be buried at sea and anyone who wants something from my estate can dance on my grave first
  5. is that you back chief tiff?
  6. Sorry wrong chief tiff i think
  7. "You are abducted by aliens for research purposes. After months of humiliating and invasive tests, you are returned to your point of abduction from a height of 3,000 feet."

  8. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    I think he spells it cheeftiff, his op was scheduled for today wasn't it?
  9. Being a smart ass I put in Adolf Hitler and was told he is already dead so this could be true you guys!!! SHOCK HORROR!!!!
  10. Da Vinci is going to be depressed so much he's gonna cut his throat wiv a hacksaw
  11. My Buddha, this really works......

    You mouth off to the wrong guy in a bar and are beaten to death with a barstool.

  12. I'm going to fall into a taffy-pulling machine while on a tour of a candy factory, and get ripped into 3 seperate chunks.

    That sucks.
  13. "You die from complications of liver failure caused by years of heavy drinking."

    How the hell do they know me?
  14. After miraculously surviving a would-be fatal car crash, your life support system is unplugged by the hospital maid, because she needs an outlet in which to plug her vacuum.

    Great, poxy NHS kills me.
  15. Me. While mowing the lawn barefoot, you accidentally run over your foot, severing your toes. Unable to walk, you bleed to death in your lawn.
    Problem though no garden or tools do I have.

    I would have wished to of gone in a better way, i.e. drowned while drinking from a vat of rum or the like.
  16. After swallowing several capsules which you thought were pain relievers, you're told that you were given "foam animal in a capsule" capsules as a joke. The foam animals expand to twenty times their original size, causing a major intestinal obstruction. Unable to pass solid waste, you die from self-toxification.

    A suitably comedy exit methinks...
  17. 'You are blown to smithereens when your fun loving co-worker fills a whoopee cushion with nitroglycerin.'

  18. I am going to die the Spike Milligan way-making love to a beautiful woman as the bailiffs come up the drive!
  20. "I'm going to fall from a roller coaster ride, while high up."
    the chances of me going on a roller coaster in the first place, are about the same as getting Hig the pigs tot! Yes I was at SAH at the same time as you were Hig??????? :lol: :wink:

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