House Opening

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by 4to8, Jan 30, 2009.

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  1. I was thinking of opening a knocking shop for mature gentlemen and wondered if anyone had any any ideas for same? Tims idea for a Postman Pat theme has been rejected as the idea of seeing Mrs Goggins in fishnets and bulging varicose veins was thought to be less than tasteful.
     
  2. The leisure industry usually dose very well in a recession so you may do well .My suggestion is don't specialise too much be creative and keep a open mind.
    As NZ bootneck has said on a similar post invest in a aluminum baseball bat. :idea:
     
  3. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Cowboy theme and call it "slow riders" :wink:
     
  4. Just have a massive world map on the wall and dress them up in every stereotype you can imagine, then I can... I mean your punters, can pick a country and go for it. And you could stick Burkhas on the ugly ones and still make money. Prostitutes in Burkhas, the BBC would love that. :twisted:
     
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    That would be like shoving your dick in a letter box..........cool. :lol:
     
  6. But what if Tim sneaked in wearing his Moms Burco??
    But it is a good idea, I think I will call it the "72 preloved virgins Room"
    There could also be a "Pork-a-Pikie" room
     
  7. It does remind me of a limerick, though:

    Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get Postman Pat a letter
    but when she got there, the cupboard was bare
    so they did it without
    it was better!

    Boom, boom.....
     
  8. Arent you likely to get scalded putting it in a water heater? :?
     
  9. Ahhhh but this no ordinary water heater, this is an M&S fanny-soft water heater.........
     
  10. Bit like a Davy Crockett hat then? :lol:
     
  11. There could also be a "Pork-a-Pikie" room[/quote]

    Re another thread - I thought we weren't allowed to call them Pikies anymore, but instead Caravan Utilising Nomadic Travellers or some such anagram?

    We have trouble with itinerant 'Travellers' here. I call the trampervans!
     
  12. Oooooo we could indeed get into trouble for that bit so the room has been renamed " Pork-a-Caravan Utilising Nomadic Traveller" .
    Bit confusing though 'cause lads will be poking c**ts in the other rooms anyways :?

    Another room has been added called the "Morticia Suite".
    My mate Kev works in the hospital next door and can let us have the odd body from time to time.He said its Ok once we don't warm them up too much and thaw them out. so it really will have to be a quickie.
     
  13. Today may we welcome you to our Jihadi Jigsaw Room.Here you will be given a body bag containing bits of a former female suicide bomber. What you have to do is assemble enough bits to make a worthwhile shag while working against the clock. Don't bother looking for a blow job,tha burco has been booked as in a previous thread.
     

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