Homosexuality - It's just not for me.

sussex2 said:
UncleAlbert said:
Sussex what you are talking here is Treason…Please remember..What you put in writing, no matter where, is subject to the laws of the land - simples! It is also a permanent record of what you have said etc.
The internet is not an exception to those laws. It and mobile phones are probably the most highly monitored method of communication there is.
Beats me rigid that some members of this forum seem to think that the royals are fair game, but wouldn't dare type what they do about other racial or social minorities.
They`re here and they ain't going away - simples! If you don't like it then tough, they don't give a damn anyway and do not seek your, or anyone elses approval, nor do they need it.


….
Oh! Do you mean the Royal family, good series that despite the Brummie accents..all of them on the dole and never done a days work in their lives?
'Aw cum from Dudlay and yawm makin a monkay outa may' - You have to be there really :roll:
Which family were you thinking about that people may dislike so much?
ps Stating dislike of a knackered old principle is not treason, more common sense.
pps You are exactly right - They don't give a damn, about anyone but themselves :twisted:
Er the Brummie accent and the Black country accent are nothing alike, unless of course your deaf, or take it in the ear too often.
I have started to develop a Brummie accent by working in the joint, but I do not fully understand a "Yam yam" as they even use a vocabulary known only to themselves.
Dudley is in the Black country, one of the things that might give this away is the fact that the "Black country" museum is next door to Dudley castle. :?
 
Rumrat said:
sussex2 said:
UncleAlbert said:
Sussex what you are talking here is Treason…Please remember..What you put in writing, no matter where, is subject to the laws of the land - simples! It is also a permanent record of what you have said etc.
The internet is not an exception to those laws. It and mobile phones are probably the most highly monitored method of communication there is.
Beats me rigid that some members of this forum seem to think that the royals are fair game, but wouldn't dare type what they do about other racial or social minorities.
They`re here and they ain't going away - simples! If you don't like it then tough, they don't give a damn anyway and do not seek your, or anyone elses approval, nor do they need it.


….
Oh! Do you mean the Royal family, good series that despite the Brummie accents..all of them on the dole and never done a days work in their lives?
'Aw cum from Dudlay and yawm makin a monkay outa may' - You have to be there really :roll:
Which family were you thinking about that people may dislike so much?
ps Stating dislike of a knackered old principle is not treason, more common sense.
pps You are exactly right - They don't give a damn, about anyone but themselves :twisted:
Er the Brummie accent and the Black country accent are nothing alike, unless of course your deaf, or take it in the ear too often.
I have started to develop a Brummie accent by working in the joint, but I do not fully understand a "Yam yam" as they even use a vocabulary known only to themselves.
Dudley is in the Black country, one of the things that might give this away is the fact that the "Black country" museum is next door to Dudley castle. :?
Amazing that so many people have the same speech impediment...I know, I know, someone else (famous-ish) said it before me...I can't remember who though...and he/she was right.
 
Rumrat said:
sussex2 said:
UncleAlbert said:
Sussex what you are talking here is Treason…Please remember..What you put in writing, no matter where, is subject to the laws of the land - simples! It is also a permanent record of what you have said etc.
The internet is not an exception to those laws. It and mobile phones are probably the most highly monitored method of communication there is.
Beats me rigid that some members of this forum seem to think that the royals are fair game, but wouldn't dare type what they do about other racial or social minorities.
They`re here and they ain't going away - simples! If you don't like it then tough, they don't give a damn anyway and do not seek your, or anyone elses approval, nor do they need it.


….
Oh! Do you mean the Royal family, good series that despite the Brummie accents..all of them on the dole and never done a days work in their lives?
'Aw cum from Dudlay and yawm makin a monkay outa may' - You have to be there really :roll:
Which family were you thinking about that people may dislike so much?
ps Stating dislike of a knackered old principle is not treason, more common sense.
pps You are exactly right - They don't give a damn, about anyone but themselves :twisted:
Er the Brummie accent and the Black country accent are nothing alike, unless of course your deaf, or take it in the ear too often.
I have started to develop a Brummie accent by working in the joint, but I do not fully understand a "Yam yam" as they even use a vocabulary known only to themselves.
Dudley is in the Black country, one of the things that might give this away is the fact that the "Black country" museum is next door to Dudley castle. :?
Is the Lamp pub still in Dudley, the one that makes that light coloured bitter of its' own I wonder. Is it mad O'rourkes pie pub at the entrance to the canal tunnel? The pie you can get an entire chrissy lunch in, including the sprouts? Or a beef one that has horns.
Yep, I know about the accents having worked for five years at BHX. I lived in Arley, West Bromwich and last, and by far the best, Kings Heath, and I used to cycle through the parks and along the canal bank into the city centre, hardly touching a road.
Every area seems to have a different accent, more a collection of separate villages rather than a big city.
I had some pretty good times and still have really good friends there.
 
Well, last night was interesting.

My mate, Filthy Mick and I decided to go to the Powerhouse, Newcastle's resident gay nightclub. Filthy Mick wasn't too impressed at the idea but I talked him round saying there'd be some fag-hags he can cop off with.

I decided that the best course of action was jeans, trainers and the tightest white polo shirt I could find, to enhance my holiday tan and make me look a little gay but not too much, I didn't want to overcook it on night one.

On arriving, we were made very welcome and went to the bar, contrary to what Sussex has said there were plenty of people lashing up, I asked Mick what he wanted but the didn't reply, I turned around to see him staring, mouth open at what was going on around him. "fcuk this" he said "I'll be in Bijous when you straighten out" And with that, he was gone.

It was, to be fair, incredibly gay. There were dudes dancing around to the Communards, trannies, lumberjack shirts with ripped jeans, leather caps and some cnut in his tropics. I promised to stick it out though.

Fortunately, I then met Adrian, a fellow straight dude. "Hi there, good to see a straight looking guy in here" He said. "Too many Queens and not enough proper men". He seemed nice. "You here on your own?" said Adrian.
"Yes mate, Mick fcuked off in a strop as he doesn't like this place." I replied.
"Yeah my partner stays at home on a saturday so I can go cruising too" He said.

We started talking and he didn't like the place as it was "Too camp" I had to agree. He looked like ex-cricketer Alec Stewart and had a white muscle vest on, a real man's man. We got to talking about training and he showed me his muscles, he liked mine too so I let him have a feel, he especially liked my pecs and glutes.

I think he had chapped lips too as he kept licking them whilst talking to me, he also called me a "twink" which is a pretty cool nickname I think.

We had some more booze and talked about training and cars, it was so nice to meet such a Alpha male, he did keep banging on about and touching my glutes though which made me think that he doesn't train as much as he said.

I was tiring off this gay nightclub, Adrian was alright but I had spotted a chick at the bar. I pointed her out to Adrian and he said "I don't do cross-dressers, I only fcuk real men like you"

Well that took me by surprise, the cnut had been straight-walting and had given me no indication that he was a bender!

So I made my excuses and went to see this chick, turns out she wasn't a cross-dresser she was a proper bird, her name was Yvonne and she told me that she comes here to avoid predatory males and just have a good time, so I asked her if she fancied a fcuk and she said yes.

So even the gay nightlife can't turn me, I have learnt that you've got to look out for sneaky gays that you think are mates but just want to burgle your turds. It's deffo the straight life for me. No mud pies or ass love.

On the upside though, Yvonne let me nail her twice at her house and then whack off on her tits which was nice.
 
While we are here, fisting, do they have a good enema before they kick off ?, was watching my oppo's porn and 2 blokes were opening up a birds hoop with some metal contraption, BOTH of them then rammed their arms up to the elbow !, fcuking depraved. I would imagine after a few sessions like that a plug would be of little use, send a tiff and a couple of stokers from aft section base to shore the bastard up.
 
Ah Yvonne...... :lol:


Now the question is lads, how to break it to Monty that he's just shagged the Queen of Kaitais? Suggestions welcome.

Yvonne

PS: Adrian is quite right: too manycamp types not nearly enough straight-acting gays/guys. :sad2:
 
This thread has inspired me to shine a light into hitherto unexplored recesses of my own sexuality.
A couple of rather moth-eaten looking old Bufties have just opened a hairdressing salon at the end of my road. Fair dos to them, they have made a success of it, as it is very popular with ladies of a certain age, but I must confess to having made them lab rats for my woodclanging experimentation.
Unlike MLP, who adopted the guise of a wide-eyed ingenue, I have taken on the personae of a Fifties/Beat era Bit of Rough. I have donned a tight pair of denim bib overalls, a tight T shirt - with one of the sleeves rolled up to hold a pack of Marlboroughs - a floppy quiff, and a US Navy sailor's hat. I have spent most of leave loitering outside their salon, leaning against a lamp post while moodily chaining tabs and flicking the quiff away from my eyes. As I don't actually smoke, I spend a fair bit of the day doubled up over the gutter boffing up, but in spite of that, I think that they are starting to pick up on the mating musk that is rolling off me in waves.
They are playing a bit hard to get, a bit coy. Only the other day one of them called me a sad cunt, and told me to get the fcuk away from their shop, or they would get an injunction. I am starting to suspect that they are Walt-gays, as you never hear proper woofters like Julian Clary, Frankie Howerd or TV's Graham Norton using language like that. I reckon they are a pair of cowboy tarmacers, who turned to hairdressing after the bottom dropped out of the Black. They must have decided that the matrons of Pompey were only comfortable with having a Snapper's fingers through their wet-permed locks.
 
chaffed_and_tender said:
This thread has inspired me to shine a light into hitherto unexplored recesses of my own sexuality.
A couple of rather moth-eaten looking old Bufties have just opened a hairdressing salon at the end of my road. Fair dos to them, they have made a success of it, as it is very popular with ladies of a certain age, but I must confess to having made them lab rats for my woodclanging experimentation.
Unlike MLP, who adopted the guise of a wide-eyed ingenue, I have taken on the personae of a Fifties/Beat era Bit of Rough. I have donned a tight pair of denim bib overalls, a tight T shirt - with one of the sleeves rolled up to hold a pack of Marlboroughs - a floppy quiff, and a US Navy sailor's hat. I have spent most of leave loitering outside their salon, leaning against a lamp post while moodily chaining tabs and flicking the quiff away from my eyes. As I don't actually smoke, I spend a fair bit of the day doubled up over the gutter boffing up, but in spite of that, I think that they are starting to pick up on the mating musk that is rolling off me in waves.
They are playing a bit hard to get, a bit coy. Only the other day one of them called me a sad cunt, and told me to get the fcuk away from their shop, or they would get an injunction. I am starting to suspect that they are Walt-gays, as you never hear proper woofters like Julian Clary, Frankie Howerd or TV's Graham Norton using language like that. I reckon they are a pair of cowboy tarmacers, who turned to hairdressing after the bottom dropped out of the Black. They must have decided that the matrons of Pompey were only comfortable with having a Snapper's fingers through their wet-permed locks.
Good effort mate, I reckon him calling you a sad cnut is actually bender code for shove your cock in my arse.

You're well in.
 
I agree with Monty. A large tub of swarfega/Vaseline/cocoa butter (surely the most apt lube) should be at hand plus an extra large unperforated chief to protect your prize pork sword and the aarse is all yours.
 
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
chaffed_and_tender said:
This thread has inspired me to shine a light into hitherto unexplored recesses of my own sexuality.
A couple of rather moth-eaten looking old Bufties have just opened a hairdressing salon at the end of my road. Fair dos to them, they have made a success of it, as it is very popular with ladies of a certain age, but I must confess to having made them lab rats for my woodclanging experimentation.
Unlike MLP, who adopted the guise of a wide-eyed ingenue, I have taken on the personae of a Fifties/Beat era Bit of Rough. I have donned a tight pair of denim bib overalls, a tight T shirt - with one of the sleeves rolled up to hold a pack of Marlboroughs - a floppy quiff, and a US Navy sailor's hat. I have spent most of leave loitering outside their salon, leaning against a lamp post while moodily chaining tabs and flicking the quiff away from my eyes. As I don't actually smoke, I spend a fair bit of the day doubled up over the gutter boffing up, but in spite of that, I think that they are starting to pick up on the mating musk that is rolling off me in waves.
They are playing a bit hard to get, a bit coy. Only the other day one of them called me a sad cunt, and told me to get the fcuk away from their shop, or they would get an injunction. I am starting to suspect that they are Walt-gays, as you never hear proper woofters like Julian Clary, Frankie Howerd or TV's Graham Norton using language like that. I reckon they are a pair of cowboy tarmacers, who turned to hairdressing after the bottom dropped out of the Black. They must have decided that the matrons of Pompey were only comfortable with having a Snapper's fingers through their wet-permed locks.
Good effort mate, I reckon him calling you a sad cnut is actually bender code for shove your cock in my arse.

You're well in.
I am not sure if I can do it. Neither of them are what you might call skin. I reckon that once I'd pried open the rancid old arrse cheeks, it would be like throwing a kitbag down a Spey shipping route... 8O
 
stirling said:
While we are here, fisting, do they have a good enema before they kick off ?, was watching my oppo's porn and 2 blokes were opening up a birds hoop with some metal contraption, BOTH of them then rammed their arms up to the elbow !, fcuking depraved. I would imagine after a few sessions like that a plug would be of little use, send a tiff and a couple of stokers from aft section base to shore the bastard up.
I can see you've never experienced a digital examination of your yukky bits or you'd already have some idea! :lol: I presume it's the same sensation but 10 times worse/better, depending upon what turns you on. If you're into slimy, smelly things and don't mind risking getting stuck (think of giant clams here) then go for it. If not, then you can join me throwing up over the side......
 
Montigny-La-Palisse said:
Rumrat said:
Montigny-La-Palisse said:
2_deck_dash said:
I fucking love benders.
Don't eat too many at one sitting. :roll: :wink:
I wonder how many is too many? I've got a fairly big gob, it would take more than one throbbing, engorged glans to fill it.
There are a lot of calories in man fat.
So I'm told :roll: :D
And I've got a mouth like Avon mouth. :D :oops:
 
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