Who writes this shit?
And, inevitably, they have Banjo's number on speed dial.
"Hi, Alan? Type 45 going into the Black Sea. Whaddaya reckon?"
"Of course, were this Tory government to correctly fund the armed services and prevent the swathing, slashing cuts in numbers of surface fleet assets ... "
" ... hold on. Didn't Labour cut the numbers of DD/FF my twice as much?"
"Yes, but ... the Tories ... "
"What about HMS Diamond?"
"Ah, yes. Well you see, the abject failure of the Type 45 project can be laid firmly at the door of successive governments, mainly the Conservatives, who have stripped the Armed Forces back and one destroyer is simply not enough to take on Vladimir Putin in ship-to-ship combat in an area where war could break out at any minute."
"But we are not expecting war, are we?"
"That's not the point. When I sailed my frigate, HMS Ardent down to the South Atlantic 35 years ago we did so against harsh, swingeing Tory cuts ... "
"But your ship was sunk. It was stuck out in the line of fire, as a sacrificial vessel for the Argentines to attack, rather than attack the main landing group ... "
"Exactly. Which is what we see here. One vessel being sent, unarmed, into the teeth of battle. This would never have happened under my friend Tony Blair and his able defence secretary, Geoff Hoon ... "
*click*
levers