Here are some real truths

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by janner, Jan 9, 2007.

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  1. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    "My wife and I found the secret to a peaceful marriage several years ago - separate bedrooms. I sleep in the east bedroom and she sleeps in a different part of town."
    Mike Nichols

    "When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
    Sacha Guitry

    "After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together."
    Hemant Joshi

    "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."

    "Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them."
    Alexandre Dumas

    "The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, 'What does a woman want?'"
    Sigmund Freud

    "I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."

    "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
    Henry Youngman

    "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
    Sam Kinison

    "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
    James Holt McGavran

    "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
    Patrick Murray

    "Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
    1) Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
    2) Whenever you're right, shut up."
    Ogden Nash

    "The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once."

    "You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to."
    Henny Youngman

    "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
    Rodney Dangerfield

    "A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong."
    Milton Berle

    "Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy."
  2. Oh dear Janner
    you sound like you have some issuses that need dealing with.... :lol:

    How about.....

    When your husband goes from indifferent to clingy..hes hiding something..

    The best birthday gift is when husband forgets it goes out and leaves you alone with the chocolate you bought for your self..

    The best way to get your husband to do some D.I.Y. is to tell him hes got to pay some one else to do it......

    We are happily married.........Hes happy ,Im married........

    Floweres... What flowers...

    :lol: :D :lol:
  3. Just a bit cynical then, eh Janner?

  4. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

  5. My wife knows who's the boss in our house - and every now and then she lets me pretend I am !!!
  6. See now THATS something I will never understand about you strange lot (Females :wink: )

    I love my wife totally.
    I have done since I first saw her when she was 16 and I was 17 (lucky me :))
    So WHY on earth would I buy her something thats going to die in a short time?
    "Here you go love, I bought you some dying vegetation just so you really know what I think of you"
    doesn't make sense, or is it just me?
  7. Silk flowers are best Lamri they last for ever..........
    they bring a smile ,,a promise of love ever lasting...
    and if the wife is happy then the home is happy
    a happy home is a quiet home.....

    And we all know YOU men like a quiet life... :lol: :twisted:

  8. Have you know that my house is very quiet and happy :) :) cos there's no friggin woman in there!!!! (and no flowers silk or otherwise)
  9. Josiecats - isn't a quiet life the thing you have before marriage - a bit like sex really !!

    I always wanted to know what they put in wedding cakes to make women stop wanting sex (or as they call it, making Love !! )

    And as for silk flowers, round my way they don't grow at the roadside like dafodils and snowdrops
  10. put a penny in a jar every time you have sex before you get married,
    take a penny out of the jar every time you have sex after you get married - - the jar will NEVER be empty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol:
  11. The only time MY house is quiet is when 'er 'ighness is asleep!

    Oh, hang on, she bloody snores too :D
  12. give me a bottle of wine, and superbikes on the tv and im quiet and happy as a pig in shit!!!
  13. So true. Not sure about the flowers though. JC, you really must buy ORCHIDS - they flower for months on end and with TLC re-flower. Silk flowers on the other hand fade, remain the same, and gather dust. They also remind me of the plastic confections in various Aunts houses when I grew up... symbolising dreariness, drabness, religious fundamentalism, sadism and Plymouth! :( :wink: :? :lol: ...though not necessarily all at the same time :roll:
  14. Well then all i can say is that i never had any wedding cake................ :wink:

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