HELP NEEDED turning NZB into an officer.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by wet_blobby, Jan 21, 2012.

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  1. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    NZB Bless his little cotton socks is having a bit of a mid life crisis. I'll resist the temptation to take the piss and instead offer the hand of friendship and invite the good people of RR to help as well.

    The poor lad is having an identity problem. He has just taken up some silly thing called "GeoNav'ing". Now boys and girls that is basically orienteering for posh kids and instead of a compass you use a satnav. He's not been setting the world alight with his skill at this new hobby. Now that got me thinking, the long suffering Mrs NZB has had to go and rescue him not once but twice both times after midnight because he's got hopelessly lost and phoned up for help.

    Now, as a fully paid up member of the green death community he's obviously doing it on purpose. I reckon he's using Mrs NZB as a surrogate troop stripey or CSM and he's taken on (in his guinness addled brain) the role of a young thrusting and clueless baby troop officer. The clincher for me was getting lost twice, that's classic baby officer skills.

    So, lets help NZB on his quest to reinvent himself as a young thrusting occifer. Any handy hints on clothing, drinks, etiquette that a baby officer needs would help. It's mid summer down here so choice of hats and cooling drinks would be quite handy.

    I thank you all for helping a fellow RR'er in his time of need.:laughing2:
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2012
  2. CNUT!:slow:
    I see that Mrs NZB has been dishing the dirt, so much for the sanctity of marriage!
    The 'hobby' is GeoCaching, extremely gay but addictive. It involves using billions of dollars of US technology to find tupperware containers hidden in various places both urban and rural by other GeoCachers.
    Far from being lost my GPS reciever told me exactly where I was, it just wasn't on a track and so I had to 'Bush bash' through dense scrub to a fenceline and then out to the car.
    Mrs NZBs part in 'rescuing' me consisted of ringing my mobile and asking in her 'loud' voice where the "FCUK I was" and that she needed her beauty sleep ASAP (I've been telling her that for years.). I suppose this verbal encouragement counts in some small measure.:censored:
    Apart from that the charges of young Rupertism are all true, I've even got a pair of burgundy cords.:-D
  3. If you are *real* young officer, you need to place all you own into a 2 year old VW Golf (or perhaps an Audi A3). Then drive every weekend to meet your "civvy" mates, who don't care one whit about your "hoofing dits".
  4. Even Mrs NZB asks for the 'short version', whatever that could mean!
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    So, you get hopelessly lost bimbling around a mountain trying to find a tupperware party?
  6. Yes, if you find the golden salad drainer you win!:glasses9:
    So far I've only got the 250ml snaplock sandwich box.:slow:
    And my legs look like they lost a fight with a cheese grater.
  7. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Last edited: Jan 21, 2012
  8. Your 2nd link comes up with an Unexpected Error message, much like my GPS adventure.:laughing2:
  9. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    I'm getting the vibe that you're getting the hump with me trying to help you.

    That's fucking gratitude for you. :)
  10. NZB, if you're into tupperware might I suggest you feast your eyes on this little beauty :thumbright:
  11. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Something that might help NZ with his new hobby,

  12. Purple_twiglet

    Purple_twiglet War Hero Moderator

    Also, if we're going for the commisioned direct into service look, then Mrs NZB needs to change her name to Tamara, grow slightly wonky teeth, wear a barbour jacket, have two children called Hugo and Tarquin, and a nice shaggy labrador.

    Alternatively, if we're going for an SUY look, then Mrs NZB ideally needs to grow some facial hair, and adopt the airs and graces of at least a Rear Admiral, and in future introduce herself at all social gatherings as Mrs Wife of (INSERT RANK HERE) NZB, and refuse to speak to those below her new social position, even if they were former mates...
  13. Snaplock is teh best.

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