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Help ,anybody remember Jacks words to this one?

jesse

War Hero
8) Anyone maybe, the old and bold :!: recall Jolly Jacks Lyrics to this bastard :?: It was sung to the tune of The Kerry Dances and the few lines that I recall went thus;- "Oh for a lick of a lesbions dildo ohhhh for a feed of the old burnt plum." And;- " While the Chiefs and the Wrens were dancing Jack was having a feed of arse." Any know the full version? I feel that my life and culture would be the richer for the knowing :!:
 

soleil

War Hero
jesse said:
8) Anyone maybe, the old and bold :!: recall Jolly Jacks Lyrics to this bastard :?: It was sung to the tune of The Kerry Dances and the few lines that I recall went thus;- "Oh for a lick of a lesbions dildo ohhhh for a feed of the old burnt plum." And;- " While the Chiefs and the Wrens were dancing Jack was having a feed of arse." Any know the full version? I feel that my life and culture would be the richer for the knowing :!:

Jesse

My research so far is suggesting that the tune to the second one, the "Chiefs and the Wrens were dancing" one, was the tune to the Floral Dance:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QLOBtR2tQ0

Not much of a help but a start.
 

soleil

War Hero
dhoby_bucket said:
Anyone got the jack version of Ernie, he drove the fastest milk cart in the west?

db

I have found one song which seems to fit but don't know if it is the one you mean:

ERNIE (HE FLEW THE SLOWEST PHANTOM IN THE WEST)

You could hear the tyres a-bursting as he careered across the deck
You could hear the goofers laughing as he stumbled from the wreck
He flew into the circuit with his wings upon his chest
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

Now Ernie loved a Wren, a lovely lass named Sue
She worked down the road at Lilstock Range, she was only twenty two
They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, proud and chic
But Ernie took his missiles there, three times every week
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

She said she'd like to have a flight, he said right oh sweetheart
And she gazed at him in wonder as he raised his undercart
Would you like it straight and level, or at aeros have a crack
She said "Ernie I'd be happy if you rolls me on me back"
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNHEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

But Ernie had a rival, an evil looking swine
He was swarthy from down the road, the boss of 809
When he threw it over the shoulder, she knew a longing dread
She was at a loss with his medium toss, and she nearly lost her head
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEERRRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

Now Ernie would not stand for this 'Enough's enough" he said
And in the bar that evening he cornered poor old Fred
You've poked around her quadrant hut, and had your evil fun
We'll fight for her tomorrow man to man in one v one
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

They took off the next afternoon, just after half past four
Full twenty minutes they battled on, and still there was no score
Then Fred pulled even tighter, he gave it his all
And Ernie shoved in rudder, and stoofed in off a stall
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

Ernie did not want to die, he was only twenty eight
But now he's gone for ever, flying circles in the wait
Yet is he in a better place, in that airy fairy land
Where the flying programme always works,
and Commander (Airs) are banned
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRMNNIMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

For a woman's needs are manifold, and Sue she married Ted
And strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed
Is that the wind a whistling through the leaves and the dry rot
Or Ernie’s ghostly Phantom returning to the slot
They won't forget old Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
 

Topstop

War Hero
That one made me chuckle :D

One that I`ve tried to find, to no avail was one called "Duty EM" to the tune of "Ghost Riders in the Sky"

The chorus went:

Doctor Doctor Doctor
Come see what I just saw
I`ve just seen the duty EM
a welded to the floor.

Anyone know the rest?
 
Topstop said:
That one made me chuckle :D

One that I`ve tried to find, to no avail was one called "Duty EM" to the tune of "Ghost Riders in the Sky"

The chorus went:

Doctor Doctor Doctor
Come see what I just saw
I`ve just seen the duty EM
a welded to the floor.

Anyone know the rest?



Well here's a different version:-

Ghost Riders Song

This song goes to ghost riders in the sky.



While I was going down on watch one dark and dismal night.

I came upon the Second, (a most disturbing sight).

He stood there in his boiler suite, a spanner in his hand.

Said "Take this in your grubby mitts, and tighten up that Gland".



Yippee eye ah, yippee eye oh, night riders in the sky.



I was stood down by the cargo pump while 'rasing' mighty 'Ark'.

There was a flash and then a bang and everything went dark.

The running feet of engineers, the Seconds mournful cry.

Was worse than all those ghostly, steers stampeding 'cross the sky.



Yippee eye ah, yippee eye oh, night riders in the sky.



But cheer up all me bonny lads, to refit we will go.

We're running low on fags and beer, and down on FFO.

The only thing that's running high, is the engineers moral.

As we slowly sink to rest out keel, in that waterless coral.



Yippee eye ah, yippee eye oh, night riders in the sky.

I think i'll apply for X- Factor next year !

8)
 
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