Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by KATWEEZIL, Feb 20, 2008.

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  1. Another good one doing the rounds....

    The following is an actual question given on a Washington State University chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

    Bonus Question:

    Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

  2. Lol , good for him , and a leg over as well , kinnell . :thumright:
  3. chieftiff

    chieftiff War Hero Moderator

    An A? Would have got an F from me, the fundamental proposition and all resulting arguments are based on the assumption that souls have mass................... tut, tut, tut not according to the Catholic Church who "permitted" the existance of vacuum in order to prevent Hell getting theoretically full. :thumright:
  4. I thought the soul weighed 21 grams.
  5. Don't believe in Hell. Don't believe in Heaven. Don't do religion. Which, according to the above thesis/answer, means that I'll end up there. Confused of Pompey.......
  6. :toilet: Sorry to disappoint you chaps but the story has been around eons. I took a sample of text from the main body and a google search, using speech marks, revealed 15,900 hits.

    Another Urban myth bites the dust.
  7. If the mass of the souls is lighter than air, as the church suggests then we would expect them to rise Heavenwards. Likewise were they heavier than air we would expect them to drift Hellwards. However unless you reach the core of the Earth, it gets cooler as you pass downwards, whereas as you get nearer to the Sun it gets a Hell of a lot hotter. This suggests that the Sun, essential for non-extremophile life on Earth, is actually Hell and essential for human existence, whereas Heaven, which is presumably cooler, is less essential to life. On this basis Kate Bush is correct in her lyrical assertion that Heaven is Hell, and Hell is Heaven. If Heaven and Hell are the same thing, then logically God must also be Satan, and therefore (as the differences between the hating God of the Old Testament and the supposedly loving God of the New Testament) shares the same split personality as those who believe in the literal truth of the entire Bible. I rename the mythical "God" of the Christians, The Schizodeity: being warm and cold, loving and hating, being compassionate and disinterested, just and unjust all at the same time.
  8. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Thingy: Heaven is a sense of spirituality, not a specific location. Apart from that gay club under the arches at Charing Cross... :wink:

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