Have To Motivate The England Team

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by tug1970, Jun 27, 2010.

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  1. It's time to motivate the England, with such a poor performance today lets think of new ways to get them winning.
    1. No win no pay
    2. Random beheading of a player if they lose
    3. Worts player has to bend over with his chocolate star fish exposed then the
    other nine have to fcuk some sense into to him errr wait the pervs might
    enjoy that one.
  2. Stick a gorse bush branch into their rings when they lose.
    Stick them in a room with mosquitos and let them get bitten all over. They will be itchy for ages after that.
    Make them wear those horrible school jumpers that are really itchy.
    Make them play football on a beach with a regular ball and no shoes or socks.
  3. I agree they need motivation - like no win, no fcuking pay.
  4. Team pull-through..................with a Christmas tree/rough end of a pineapple

    Known to heighten awareness
  5. Roll of rusty barbed wire :evil:
  6. Why not slap their little botties for good measure.

  7. Oh!! I wasn't aware of that 8O :)
  8. Be aware, be very aware.
    Britain needs wares :D
  9. 8O 8O 8O 8O :roll:
  10. They would only enjoy that.........I know I do :oops:
  11. There is no method that can be employed to motivate this England football team or any future ones.

    This game, like any other national sport where you pull on the jersey of your country, involves a mix of pride, passion and patriotism. I do not believe the current crop have enough of all 3, and some struggle to muster any. Certain members of the team cannot even be arsed to mime the words of the National Anthem.

    Last night, grown men were crying - but not those on the pitch in the red jerseys. Glad of the early break and home to the mansion before jetting off to somewhere exotic where oiks are not allowed in.

    Mrs W_M breathed a sigh of relief last night, convinced that I would be talking to her and eating solids again. "Wrong" said I - the real footie is only just beginning.
  12. just been listening to the radio...... the MET OFFICE have issued a severe weather warning for the UK. ....apparantly there is a big shower of shit heading over here from South Africa
  13. Play Elton John,George Michael,.Dale Winton and Paul O'Grady in Defence to stiffen up the back four!
    Then again the Goalie won't bend down to pick the ball up!
    Strikers?Anyone from the Bootie Commando group,if they can't play football they'll frighten the shit out of the opposition.
    Midfield? Four MP's They claim everything they can so the ball should be no problem.
    Jobs a good'un and it should work!
  14. The England team are guaranteed a rapturous welcome on their return to the UK.

    Their flight has been diverted to Glasgow
  15. You are making assumptions about the goalie :lol:
  16. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Although i would have loved to have seen England holding aloft the world cup, it comes as no surprise to me that they lost to the Hun, and were made to look like twats. I am ever the realist. England may well have some of the best players in the world, but it's evident they cannot play as a team.

    It's really quite simple. England are shit at football.
  17. Yes, that is about it.
  18. It comes to something when we lose 4-1 and the commentators say the goal keeper was our best player

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