Have To Motivate The England Team

tug1970

Lantern Swinger
#1
It's time to motivate the England, with such a poor performance today lets think of new ways to get them winning.
1. No win no pay
2. Random beheading of a player if they lose
3. Worts player has to bend over with his chocolate star fish exposed then the
other nine have to fcuk some sense into to him errr wait the pervs might
enjoy that one.
 
#2
Stick a gorse bush branch into their rings when they lose.
Stick them in a room with mosquitos and let them get bitten all over. They will be itchy for ages after that.
Make them wear those horrible school jumpers that are really itchy.
Make them play football on a beach with a regular ball and no shoes or socks.
 
#6
Merlin28 said:
Stick a gorse bush branch into their rings when they lose.
Stick them in a room with mosquitos and let them get bitten all over. They will be itchy for ages after that.
Make them wear those horrible school jumpers that are really itchy.
Make them play football on a beach with a regular ball and no shoes or socks.
Why not slap their little botties for good measure.


JUST STAB THE CNUTS
 
W

white_mafia

Guest
#12
There is no method that can be employed to motivate this England football team or any future ones.

This game, like any other national sport where you pull on the jersey of your country, involves a mix of pride, passion and patriotism. I do not believe the current crop have enough of all 3, and some struggle to muster any. Certain members of the team cannot even be arsed to mime the words of the National Anthem.

Last night, grown men were crying - but not those on the pitch in the red jerseys. Glad of the early break and home to the mansion before jetting off to somewhere exotic where oiks are not allowed in.

Mrs W_M breathed a sigh of relief last night, convinced that I would be talking to her and eating solids again. "Wrong" said I - the real footie is only just beginning.
 

xchiefcook

Lantern Swinger
#13
just been listening to the radio...... the MET OFFICE have issued a severe weather warning for the UK. ....apparantly there is a big shower of shit heading over here from South Africa
 
#14
Play Elton John,George Michael,.Dale Winton and Paul O'Grady in Defence to stiffen up the back four!
Then again the Goalie won't bend down to pick the ball up!
Strikers?Anyone from the Bootie Commando group,if they can't play football they'll frighten the shit out of the opposition.
Midfield? Four MP's They claim everything they can so the ball should be no problem.
Jobs a good'un and it should work!
 
#16
seafarer1939 said:
Play Elton John,George Michael,.Dale Winton and Paul O'Grady in Defence to stiffen up the back four!
Then again the Goalie won't bend down to pick the ball up!
Strikers?Anyone from the Bootie Commando group,if they can't play football they'll frighten the shit out of the opposition.
Midfield? Four MP's They claim everything they can so the ball should be no problem.
Jobs a good'un and it should work!
You are making assumptions about the goalie :lol:
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#17
Although i would have loved to have seen England holding aloft the world cup, it comes as no surprise to me that they lost to the Hun, and were made to look like twats. I am ever the realist. England may well have some of the best players in the world, but it's evident they cannot play as a team.

It's really quite simple. England are shit at football.
 
#18
Blackrat said:
Although i would have loved to have seen England holding aloft the world cup, it comes as no surprise to me that they lost to the Hun, and were made to look like twats. I am ever the realist. England may well have some of the best players in the world, but it's evident they cannot play as a team.

It's really quite simple. England are shit at football.
Yes, that is about it.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Junglie Miscellaneous 0
Jenny_Dabber The Quarterdeck 38
C Diamond Lil's 48

Similar threads

New Posts