Happy birthday, sir!

hammockhead · Jun 10, 2006

Hats off to Admiral of the Fleet Prince Philip, who turns 85 today. The man's a national treasure...

The all time classics

"Where did you get that hat?" (1953)
To his wife the Queen, immediately after her coronation

"British women can't cook." (1966)

"The bastards murdered half my family.." (1967)
When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

"What do you gargle with - pebbles?" (1969)
Said to Tom Jones after the The Royal Variety Performance.

"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." (1981)
Said during the 1981 recession.

"You must be out of your minds.." (1982)
To Solomon Islanders, on being told that their population growth was 5% a year.

"You are a woman, aren't you?" (1984)
Said in Kenya, to a native woman who had presented him with a small gift.

"If you stay here much longer you'll all get slitty eyed." (1986)
Said to British students in China.

"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine the Cantonese will eat it." (1986)
Said at a World Wildlife Fund meeting.

"Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world." (1991)
Said in Thailand, after accepting a conservation award.

"You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (1993)
Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary.

"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (1994)
Said to an islander in the Cayman Islands.

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (1995)
Said to a driving instructor in Scotland.

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (1996)
Said amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting.

"You managed not to get eaten, then?" (1998)
Said to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea.

"It looks like it was put in by Indians." (1999)
Said after he saw a poorly constructed fusebox.

"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." (1999)
Said to young deaf people in Cardiff, referring to a school's steel band.

"Do you still throw spears at each other?" (2002)
To an Aboriginal man on Australia's Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park.

"You were playing your instruments, weren't you? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?" (2002)
Said to a children's band in Australia.

"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" (2002)
Said to a blind woman with a guide dog.

"If you travel as much as we do you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.." (2002)
Commenting during the Jubilee tour.

"The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism we could stop the congestion.." (2002)
Commenting on the London traffic debate, after mayor Ken Livingstone launched his plan to charge motorists Â£5 to enter the city.

"French cooking's all very well, but they can't do a decent English breakfast.." (2002)

"It doesn't look like much work goes on at this University" (2005)
Overheard at Bristol University's BLADE (Bristol Laboratory for Advanced Dynamic Engineering) facility, which had been closed in order that he and the Queen could officially open it

"You look like you're ready for bed!"
Said to the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional robes.

"Never pass up a chance to go to the loo or to take a poo."
When asked his secret for dealing with public appearances

"If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"

"And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"
Said to Lord Taylor of Warwick, who is black, who replied "Birmingham"

"Best start shedding a few pounds then"
Said to a fat boy who said his ambition was to become an astronaut

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
To Jomo Kenyatta, at Kenya's independence, as the Union Jack was being lowered for the last time.
Click to expand...

dunkers · Jun 10, 2006

Brilliant. Happy birthday sir.

capt-ahab · Jun 10, 2006

Those are brilliant!

dondon · Jun 10, 2006

Yep , definately a national treasure , always makes me smile anyway :roll: :lol:

Greenie · Jun 10, 2006

Great Guy and his quotes have contained some home truths.

Happy Birthday and I wish you many more.

Levers_Aligned · Jun 10, 2006

Bigoted old sponger, if you ask me. Tell me, exactly 'what' has he contributed to this nation. Please leave out 'oh, his family bring in so much money into this country'. That is the biggest ******* myth touted since the glorious cover up that the Queen's dad actually liked Hitler and the most of the ******* family is of German extraction. You know, the nasty dudes we were actually scrapping with between 1914-1918 and 1939-1945. That's like the Queen digging Saddam's scene right now.

Yeah, happy birthday you old ****. I expect the millions spent keeping Britain's best-loved racist accustomed to the opulent, highly-priveliged lifestyle would never have built hospitals, funded new road schemes or made servicemen's lives better at all, would it?

Levers

Greenie · Jun 11, 2006

Levers -you being unkind again

The Queens Father was sympathetic to Neville Chamberlain the then Prime Minister who attempted to deal with Hitler -- jaw jaw not war war remember.However it was George VI that did the war speech

As for Philip --yes he was distant related and was a member of the Mountbatten Family. Hardly German though -he was born in Greece son of Prince Andrew of Greece . Brought up in the UK with the Mountbatten family he was at Dartmouth 1939 .
He was a third cousin to the Windsors.

Since 1947 he's been doing a grand job for the Uk and him and Liz make an excellent team

Levers_Aligned · Jun 11, 2006

Greenie said:

Levers -you being unkind again

The Queens Father was sympathetic to Neville Chamberlain the then Prime Minister who attempted to deal with Hitler -- jaw jaw not war war remember.However it was George VI that did the war speech
Click to expand...

And it was George IV who changed the Saxe-Coburg Gotha name to Windsor to get away from any anti-German feeling. There's absolutely no denying the Royal Family were advocates of the Third Reich.

Since 1947 he's been doing a grand job for the Uk and him and Liz make an excellent team
Click to expand...

Grand job? In what way? Would this nation collapse, if it were a Republic? I doubt it. So what Grand Job are they doing?

Levers

hammockhead · Jun 11, 2006

Levers_Aligned said:

Bigoted old sponger, if you ask me. Tell me, exactly 'what' has he contributed to this nation. Please leave out 'oh, his family bring in so much money into this country'. That is the biggest ******* myth touted since the glorious cover up that the Queen's dad actually liked Hitler and the most of the ******* family is of German extraction. You know, the nasty dudes we were actually scrapping with between 1914-1918 and 1939-1945. That's like the Queen digging Saddam's scene right now.
Click to expand...

Levers Aligned, I look forward to hearing what you were doing in the 1939-1945 war.

As for bigotry, you are a bit of a hypocrite to have a go at someone because of their "German extraction" in the same breath, aren't you?

Prince Philip left Gordonstoun in 1939 and joined the Royal Navy as a Cadet.

He completed his initial training at RNC Dartmouth, where he was awarded the King's Dirk and a prize as the best Cadet of his entry.

In 1940, he joined the battleship HMS RAMILLIES in Colombo as a Midshipman and spent the following six months in the Indian Ocean.

In January 1941 he joined the battleship HMS VALIANT in Alexandria. During the night action off Cape Matapan, he was in charge of VALIANT's searchlight control, for which he was mentioned in despatches.

Having qualified for promotion to Sub-Lieutenant, he returned home and, after taking a series of technical courses, was appointed to the destroyer HMS WALLACE based at Rosyth for convoy escort duties on the east coast.

He was promoted to Lieutenant on 16 July 1942 and in October he was appointed First Lieutenant (second in command) of WALLACE at the unusually early age of 21. In July 1943, WALLACE took part in the Allied landings on Sicily.

After further courses, he was appointed as First Lieutenant of the new Fleet Destroyer HMS WHELP, which was then being built on the Tyne.

After commissioning, WHELP first joined the 27th Destroyer Flotilla and sailed for the Indian Ocean to join the British Pacific Fleet.

WHELP was present in Tokyo Bay when the Japanese signed the surrender. After the Japanese surrender, Prince Philip served continuously onboard WHELP throughout the following months. WHELP returned home in January 1946.

After instructing in the Petty Officers' School and attending the Naval Staff College at Greenwich, he was appointed First Lieutenant of HMS CHEQUERS in 1949. CHEQUERS was Leader of the First Destroyer Flotilla in the Mediterranean Fleet.

He was promoted to Lieutenant-Commander in 1950 and then appointed in command of the Frigate HMS MAGPIE.

In 1952 he was promoted to Commander, but his naval career came to an end on the death of his father-in-law, King George VI.
Click to expand...

Jenny_Dabber · Jun 11, 2006

Happy birthday! Belated I know. I would sing, but I do not wish for it to p*ss down with rain!

NozzyNozzer · Jun 11, 2006

Levers_Aligned said:

Greenie said:

Levers -you being unkind again

The Queens Father was sympathetic to Neville Chamberlain the then Prime Minister who attempted to deal with Hitler -- jaw jaw not war war remember.However it was George VI that did the war speech
Click to expand...

And it was George IV who changed the Saxe-Coburg Gotha name to Windsor to get away from any anti-German feeling. There's absolutely no denying the Royal Family were advocates of the Third Reich.

Since 1947 he's been doing a grand job for the Uk and him and Liz make an excellent team
Click to expand...

Grand job? In what way? Would this nation collapse, if it were a Republic? I doubt it. So what Grand Job are they doing?

Levers
Click to expand...

Actually it was George V who abandoned the name Saxe-Coburg-Gotha.

The Royal Family, or rather certain members of it, most notably George VI and his wife were not advocates of the Third Reich but rather supported the policy of Appeasement, as did most of the British population prior to Hitler invading the whole of Czechslovakia, which could not be justified on nationality grounds. Even then few seem to remember that after Munich it was a triumphant Chamberlain who became the first Prime Minister to appear on the balcony of Buckingham Palace with the King & Queen to receive public acclaim; most people think Churchill was the first recipient of this honour in 1945 - not so! I have read that some members of the Royal Family were sympahtetic to some aspects Nazi ideology as were a good many members of the British Aristocracy and several right-wing politicians. Some would have collaborated, others would have put British interests first. Many were simply deluding themselves. After all we know from the Six papers dating from 1940 (their author would have been Gauleiter in England: Dr.Six), the role of the SS in Britain after invasion following a sucessful outcome to Operation Sealion, would have been to exterminate all politicans, intellectuals (anyone educated to university level) and all males between the ages of 17 and 45 were to be deported to the new Reich as slave labourers to construct Hitler's architectural megalomania. No one knowing this would have supported the Third Reich. Sadly few Britons today know about them either.

Levers_Aligned · Jun 11, 2006

hammockhead said:

Levers_Aligned said:

Bigoted old sponger, if you ask me. Tell me, exactly 'what' has he contributed to this nation. Please leave out 'oh, his family bring in so much money into this country'. That is the biggest ******* myth touted since the glorious cover up that the Queen's dad actually liked Hitler and the most of the ******* family is of German extraction. You know, the nasty dudes we were actually scrapping with between 1914-1918 and 1939-1945. That's like the Queen digging Saddam's scene right now.
Click to expand...

Levers Aligned, I look forward to hearing what you were doing in the 1939-1945 war.
Click to expand...

Myself? Rather pointless question, if you're asking. My father, however, served on North Sea patrol craft, was strafed and bombed by a host of German aircraft. He eventually made it back to the UK in his damaged vessel, was crash drafted to join the Royal Engineers and partook in a small operation that you've probably heard of which involved the retaking of Northern Europe via the beaches of Normandy. He then accompanied various groups and front line tank units and artillery and ended up in his tractor unit blown into a small ravine in Northern Italy by axis forces and shipped back to Britain. He recovered, was sent into Holland and was demobbed at the end of the war to rejoin the RN in his source branch and see a further seven years service in Landing Craft and CO class destroyers before being medically discharged with conditions directly attributable to his prolonged exposure to artillery bombardment, some of which dogged his career and life until he died in 1999. His medals sit above this monitor in a presentation case on the wall.

I'd say he made a sacrifice with his comrades to keep this nation and others free from tyranny.

As for bigotry, you are a bit of a hypocrite to have a go at someone because of their "German extraction" in the same breath, aren't you?
Click to expand...

Not really. Considering the nation had been at war with Germany and was about to plunge headlong into another conflict with the same nation who were led by a cabal of despotic butchers I'd say my allusion is more or less right on. Let's face it, the Windsors only came about because of the percieved backlash against the Saxe-Coburg/Mountbatten/Battenberg legacy.

And if we are comparing, study the 'hilarious' outbursts that he has let slip from his clumsy, unstatesmanlike trap in the past few decades. And we have paid for that ambassodorial privelege.

Levers
Click to expand...

Backpacker1uk · Jun 11, 2006

hammockhead said:

Hats off to Admiral of the Fleet Prince Philip, who turns 85 today. The man's a national treasure...

The all time classics

"Where did you get that hat?" (1953)
To his wife the Queen, immediately after her coronation

"British women can't cook." (1966)

"The bastards murdered half my family.." (1967)
When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

"What do you gargle with - pebbles?" (1969)
Said to Tom Jones after the The Royal Variety Performance.

"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." (1981)
Said during the 1981 recession.

"You must be out of your minds.." (1982)
To Solomon Islanders, on being told that their population growth was 5% a year.

"You are a woman, aren't you?" (1984)
Said in Kenya, to a native woman who had presented him with a small gift.

"If you stay here much longer you'll all get slitty eyed." (1986)
Said to British students in China.

"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine the Cantonese will eat it." (1986)
Said at a World Wildlife Fund meeting.

"Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world." (1991)
Said in Thailand, after accepting a conservation award.

"You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (1993)
Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary.

"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (1994)
Said to an islander in the Cayman Islands.

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (1995)
Said to a driving instructor in Scotland.

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (1996)
Said amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting.

"You managed not to get eaten, then?" (1998)
Said to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea.

"It looks like it was put in by Indians." (1999)
Said after he saw a poorly constructed fusebox.

"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." (1999)
Said to young deaf people in Cardiff, referring to a school's steel band.

"Do you still throw spears at each other?" (2002)
To an Aboriginal man on Australia's Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park.

"You were playing your instruments, weren't you? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?" (2002)
Said to a children's band in Australia.

"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" (2002)
Said to a blind woman with a guide dog.

"If you travel as much as we do you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.." (2002)
Commenting during the Jubilee tour.

"The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism we could stop the congestion.." (2002)
Commenting on the London traffic debate, after mayor Ken Livingstone launched his plan to charge motorists Â£5 to enter the city.

"French cooking's all very well, but they can't do a decent English breakfast.." (2002)

"It doesn't look like much work goes on at this University" (2005)
Overheard at Bristol University's BLADE (Bristol Laboratory for Advanced Dynamic Engineering) facility, which had been closed in order that he and the Queen could officially open it

"You look like you're ready for bed!"
Said to the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional robes.

"Never pass up a chance to go to the loo or to take a poo."
When asked his secret for dealing with public appearances

"If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"

"And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"
Said to Lord Taylor of Warwick, who is black, who replied "Birmingham"

"Best start shedding a few pounds then"
Said to a fat boy who said his ambition was to become an astronaut

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
To Jomo Kenyatta, at Kenya's independence, as the Union Jack was being lowered for the last time.
Click to expand...

Click to expand...

Get on your bike was another! And "Nothing is impossible for a Royal Marine" he quoted as CAPT GENERAL of the ROYAL MARINES.

I remember him complaining about the noise coming from the toilet/bathroom cistern keeping him awake at night. Poor thing!

Commenting on the passing of Concorde he was glad that horrible thing had now stopped flying over Buck House.

I love that guy he says things others are to scared or should I say unable to say even though they are make cock ups. I would to hear HMQ later when he drops one.

He is the best comedy act that this country has on the pay roll.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Backpacker1uk · Jun 11, 2006

Backpacker1uk said:

hammockhead said:

Hats off to Admiral of the Fleet Prince Philip, who turns 85 today. The man's a national treasure...

The all time classics

"Where did you get that hat?" (1953)
To his wife the Queen, immediately after her coronation

"British women can't cook." (1966)

"The bastards murdered half my family.." (1967)
When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

"What do you gargle with - pebbles?" (1969)
Said to Tom Jones after the The Royal Variety Performance.

"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed." (1981)
Said during the 1981 recession.

"You must be out of your minds.." (1982)
To Solomon Islanders, on being told that their population growth was 5% a year.

"You are a woman, aren't you?" (1984)
Said in Kenya, to a native woman who had presented him with a small gift.

"If you stay here much longer you'll all get slitty eyed." (1986)
Said to British students in China.

"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine the Cantonese will eat it." (1986)
Said at a World Wildlife Fund meeting.

"Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species in the world." (1991)
Said in Thailand, after accepting a conservation award.

"You can't have been here that long - you haven't got a pot belly." (1993)
Said to a Briton in Budapest, Hungary.

"Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" (1994)
Said to an islander in the Cayman Islands.

"How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?" (1995)
Said to a driving instructor in Scotland.

"If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?" (1996)
Said amid calls to ban firearms after the Dunblane shooting.

"You managed not to get eaten, then?" (1998)
Said to a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea.

"It looks like it was put in by Indians." (1999)
Said after he saw a poorly constructed fusebox.

"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf." (1999)
Said to young deaf people in Cardiff, referring to a school's steel band.

"Do you still throw spears at each other?" (2002)
To an Aboriginal man on Australia's Tjapukai Aboriginal Cultural Park.

"You were playing your instruments, weren't you? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?" (2002)
Said to a children's band in Australia.

"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" (2002)
Said to a blind woman with a guide dog.

"If you travel as much as we do you appreciate how much more comfortable aircraft have become. Unless you travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.." (2002)
Commenting during the Jubilee tour.

"The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism we could stop the congestion.." (2002)
Commenting on the London traffic debate, after mayor Ken Livingstone launched his plan to charge motorists Â£5 to enter the city.

"French cooking's all very well, but they can't do a decent English breakfast.." (2002)

"It doesn't look like much work goes on at this University" (2005)
Overheard at Bristol University's BLADE (Bristol Laboratory for Advanced Dynamic Engineering) facility, which had been closed in order that he and the Queen could officially open it

"You look like you're ready for bed!"
Said to the President of Nigeria, who was dressed in traditional robes.

"Never pass up a chance to go to the loo or to take a poo."
When asked his secret for dealing with public appearances

"If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it's either a new woman or a new car!"

"And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"
Said to Lord Taylor of Warwick, who is black, who replied "Birmingham"

"Best start shedding a few pounds then"
Said to a fat boy who said his ambition was to become an astronaut

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
To Jomo Kenyatta, at Kenya's independence, as the Union Jack was being lowered for the last time.
Click to expand...

Click to expand...

Get on your bike was another! And "Nothing is impossible for a Royal Marine" he quoted as CAPT GENERAL of the ROYAL MARINES.

I remember him complaining about the noise coming from the toilet/bathroom cistern keeping him awake at night. Poor thing!

Commenting on the passing of Concorde he was glad that horrible thing had now stopped flying over Buck House.

I love that guy he says things others are to scared or should I say unable to say even though they are make cock ups. I would to hear HMQ later when he drops one.

He is the best comedy act that this country has on the pay roll.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Click to expand...

Incidentally!!!!!!

It was also my birthday so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!

amour_de_moutons · Jun 12, 2006

Levers_Aligned, you have to be a troll.

After all, English is the modern Anglo Saxon word meaning 'Anglo Saxon'. There's quite a major word in that Anglo Saxon bit... Saxon.

My great-grandparents were German, my grandad was in the British army. So where's the Nazi Affiliation there then?

Some of those quotes are genuinely hysterical, others because they lack all tact and really he shouldn't have been allowed to get away with saying them. Brilliant.

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