Had an 'Oooops' morning.

#1
Methinks I may be in the poo with She Who MUST Be Obeyed!!!!!

Doing my daily chores around the ancestral home, that would be hoovering, to the down trodden!!!! I fancied a swift 'play' with my wee micro helicopter my son bought me for chrimbo! All went well until I chopped off the top of her favourite plant!! leaves and bits everywhere!!!!! Oh Fuck was the only thing that I could muster. Dogs pissed off and hid in their baskets - Bloody Fridays!!!!

Can't afford a ticket to Brazil so I reckon my time on this planet may be shortened somewhat tonight when she finishes work!!!!

Bollox, it's not as if it's the thirteenth is it?
 
#3
Put the plant on its side on he deck, lay a trail of the broken bits to the dogs basket, stick bits of leaf round the dogs snout (use prit stick) leave house and return after swmbo
 
#4
With you there Sharkey!!!!

Bloody dogs eh!!!! Running all over the place angry9: knocking things everywhere!!!!!!!

Now I remember what dogs are for!!!!!! (Apart from blaming them for farting!!!!!)
 

wal

Lantern Swinger
#5
Waspie's man enough to own up. Aren't you, waspie?


Although is your SWEMBO is any thing like mine I'd be off for a long DTS down the road.
 

wal

Lantern Swinger
#6
With you there Sharkey!!!!

Bloody dogs eh!!!! Running all over the place angry9: knocking things everywhere!!!!!!!

Now I remember what dogs are for!!!!!! (Apart from blaming them for farting!!!!!)

Belay the previous. I forgot Waspies an ex woo and will blame a defenceless creature.
 
#9
mmm, Waspie, it may be in your interests to locate a nearby purveyor of chocolates or flowers ..............
There lies the rub! Tis my 40th Anniversary this weekend and that has been covered in part by the choccy/flowery thing. So I am thinking of a swift visit to the garden centre or = antique knife shop and ceremoniously falling on my (to be bought) sword!!!!

But I think Wal summed it up - I'm an ex Woo for goodness sake.

I shall simply lie!!!!!!!!!! (I think)
 

wal

Lantern Swinger
#10
My faith in Woos is restored,Waspie.


Of course you can always standby with the Zippo for when HinDs arrives home and asks what happened.


Flick open Zippo and ....Scottie beam...............................
 
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#13
Google plant diseases, find a good one, ditch the plant, show her the webpage and say how you thought it looked a bit peeky and found it was sick so you've ditched it to save the other plants/planet/her health whilst backing out towards the pre-opened back door.
 
#15
Are you man or mouse, mine does what she's told, when she's told to! As if, I usually blame things like that on the cat. She never believes me but it makes her laugh.
 
#16
Are you man or mouse, mine does what she's told, when she's told to! As if, I usually blame things like that on the cat. She never believes me but it makes her laugh.
It's already been said, I'm a WAFU and yes I'm a mouse.

This is the woman who threw a hot iron at her dad because he, foolishly, commented on a shirt she was ironing!!!

You decide!!!!!
 
#20
OK sitrep!

It's nearly 8pm she's been home about 3 hours and she hasn't noticed. May have got away with it!:toothy10:
Hope that fuckin Sharkey don't live by you, on present form he'll be around white ratting ya.
Treacherous bastard.
I bet he snatches kids lollipops.
 

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