Had an 'Oooops' morning.

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by Waspie, Feb 22, 2013.

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  1. Methinks I may be in the poo with She Who MUST Be Obeyed!!!!!

    Doing my daily chores around the ancestral home, that would be hoovering, to the down trodden!!!! I fancied a swift 'play' with my wee micro helicopter my son bought me for chrimbo! All went well until I chopped off the top of her favourite plant!! leaves and bits everywhere!!!!! Oh Fuck was the only thing that I could muster. Dogs pissed off and hid in their baskets - Bloody Fridays!!!!

    Can't afford a ticket to Brazil so I reckon my time on this planet may be shortened somewhat tonight when she finishes work!!!!

    Bollox, it's not as if it's the thirteenth is it?
    • Like Like x 2
  2. Good job you had the hoover close to hand.
  3. Put the plant on its side on he deck, lay a trail of the broken bits to the dogs basket, stick bits of leaf round the dogs snout (use prit stick) leave house and return after swmbo
    • Like Like x 1
  4. With you there Sharkey!!!!

    Bloody dogs eh!!!! Running all over the place angry9: knocking things everywhere!!!!!!!

    Now I remember what dogs are for!!!!!! (Apart from blaming them for farting!!!!!)
  5. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Waspie's man enough to own up. Aren't you, waspie?

    Although is your SWEMBO is any thing like mine I'd be off for a long DTS down the road.
  6. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Belay the previous. I forgot Waspies an ex woo and will blame a defenceless creature.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. mmm, Waspie, it may be in your interests to locate a nearby purveyor of chocolates or flowers ..............
  8. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Is it Valentine's Day, Soleil? I must check my diary.
  9. There lies the rub! Tis my 40th Anniversary this weekend and that has been covered in part by the choccy/flowery thing. So I am thinking of a swift visit to the garden centre or = antique knife shop and ceremoniously falling on my (to be bought) sword!!!!

    But I think Wal summed it up - I'm an ex Woo for goodness sake.

    I shall simply lie!!!!!!!!!! (I think)
  10. wal

    wal Badgeman

    My faith in Woos is restored,Waspie.

    Of course you can always standby with the Zippo for when HinDs arrives home and asks what happened.

    Flick open Zippo and ....Scottie beam...............................
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2013
  11. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Go to the Garden Centre, take the plant with you and see if they can replace it (bit like the dead budgie)
  12. wal

    wal Badgeman

    Bravo Zulu, Janner I didn't think of that one.
  13. Google plant diseases, find a good one, ditch the plant, show her the webpage and say how you thought it looked a bit peeky and found it was sick so you've ditched it to save the other plants/planet/her health whilst backing out towards the pre-opened back door.
  14. Throw the lot in the bin and pretend that it was never there
  15. Are you man or mouse, mine does what she's told, when she's told to! As if, I usually blame things like that on the cat. She never believes me but it makes her laugh.
  16. It's already been said, I'm a WAFU and yes I'm a mouse.

    This is the woman who threw a hot iron at her dad because he, foolishly, commented on a shirt she was ironing!!!

    You decide!!!!!
  17. Just say it was an accident due to FOD and tell her you've filed an ANYMOUSE report but you can't show her the copy because ... well, you get the idea...
    • Like Like x 2
  18. Is he still alive? This thread appears to have come to an abrupt stop.
  19. OK sitrep!

    It's nearly 8pm she's been home about 3 hours and she hasn't noticed. May have got away with it!:toothy10:
  20. Hope that fuckin Sharkey don't live by you, on present form he'll be around white ratting ya.
    Treacherous bastard.
    I bet he snatches kids lollipops.
    • Like Like x 1

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