Green Rub Days

hobbit

War Hero
Got this from a cyber mate in UK. Difficult to believe it's all true but if it is WOW that number one would have to be the greenest rub IMO

:lol:


Think you're having a bad day? read on.......



1
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The
deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks
on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off
the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to
control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the
ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket
300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed; but keep reading......

------------------------------------

Still think you're having a bad day?

2
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in
the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was
dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called
for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill,
went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and
escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending
to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once
again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance,
they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them.
They started laughing so hard, one slipped, dropping the stretcher and
dumping the husband
out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
--------------------------------------------

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse.......

3
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
killer whale ate them both.
--------------------------------------------

Still think you are having a bad day?

4
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running
from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away
from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood,
breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been
happilylistening to his Walkman.


-------------------------------------------


STILL think you're having a bad day?

5
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two
thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampedingmadly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
--------------------------------------------

What?! STILL having a bad day?

6
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnaje didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it
was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?
 
You should see if you can get a copy of a book I have called the
'Darwin Awards'

Guys who have killed themselves or committed silly acts .

Best one was the fishermen on a frozen lake using dynamite to make a hole for fishing ,the guy lit the dynamite fuse threw it and his dog retrieved it they tried to get it from the dog but the dog got scared and ran under the guys new 4X4 with the still lit dynamite.


Kids on a ski slope didnt have ski's snow boards they removed a coupe of
tree deflector guards and used them-------one of them died when he hit a non guarded tree!

The guy with the car in the desert using the Jato rocket fixed to his car.
The rocket was a surplus item .
They found him embedded with the remains of his car 40 ft up in a cliff face

[I think that one was an urban myth ]
 

hobbit

War Hero
Yeah, heard about the Darwin Awards and often wonder why they are so-called. With the "urban myths" in this modern age of ' spin " and all the rest of the BS it makes it so difficult to know what is true. For example how many of the "bad day " dits are true? if any. Seems some people have got FAETD. Despite that some strange things do happen but which are true

:D
 
The initial Darwin awards were all collected from newspaper report cuttings and police etc reports . They did a yearly judging and came up with the best ten each year.

I think they called them Darwin cos it was symbolic -like the weak brain cell story--and the evolution of the species!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

FlagWagger

GCM
Book Reviewer
Greenie said:
The initial Darwin awards were all collected from newspaper report cuttings and police etc reports . They did a yearly judging and came up with the best ten each year.

I think they called them Darwin cos it was symbolic -like the weak brain cell story--and the evolution of the species!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Not quite, it was the person who did the most to strengthen humanity's gene pool by removing him/herself from it before reproducing!
 

hobbit

War Hero
FlagWagger said:
Greenie said:
The initial Darwin awards were all collected from newspaper report cuttings and police etc reports . They did a yearly judging and came up with the best ten each year.

I think they called them Darwin cos it was symbolic -like the weak brain cell story--and the evolution of the species!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Not quite, it was the person who did the most to strengthen humanity's gene pool by removing him/herself from it before reproducing!
Sounds right, survival of the fittest and all that. Not fittest physically these days but mentally. Makes sense with some of the people who die because of something very stupid.Thought it had something to do with the city of Darwin where some are inclined to do silly things , usually when p****d
:D
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
T Green Rub stories. Submariners 1
S Green rub for a Greenie. Diamond Lil's 3
S worst green rub? History 7
H Green rub or poetic justice? Current Affairs 7
MoD_RSS Performing Arts given green light to resume outdoors on July 11 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS On the road to a sustainable future: Net Zero Transport Board paves the way for a green recovery MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Building back a green and resilient recovery MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Scaling up climate action: country strategies and emerging investment opportunities for a green recovery MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government announces £40 million green jobs challenge fund MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Green light for COVID-19 trial recruitment MoD News 0
MoD_RSS £73.5 million to boost green economic recovery in automotive sector MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Green number plates get the green light for a zero-emission future MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Malaysia can take the green road to post-coronavirus recovery: joint op-ed MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Green recovery of the economy and society after COVID-19: UK statement MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Green projects given support to attract private sector investment MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government gives green light to resumption of compeitive sport behind closed doors MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Celebrating 10 years of Green Engineering in Cumbria MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government launches new £40 million Clean Growth Fund to supercharge green start-ups MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Multi-million pound flood scheme in Rochdale and Littleborough given the green light MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Flood scheme for Stoke town centre gets green light MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Inquiry opened into Barry Green Memorial Fund following governance and financial management concerns MoD News 0
MoD_RSS CMA gives Just Eat and Takeaway.com deal the green light MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Coronavirus – Guidance on access to green spaces MoD News 0
MoD_RSS New era of green fuel set to clean up Britain’s roads MoD News 0
MoD_RSS 68 new parks to inject green space into urban areas MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Second phase of Northstowe and one of the UK’s largest modular neighbourhoods gets the green light MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Milestone for Cornwall as major A30 upgrade gets the green light MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Britain’s first all-electric bus town to pave the way for green communities of the future MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Response to the Department for Transport consultation on green number plates for ultra low emission vehicles MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Maritime minister hails port’s green credentials MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Alok Sharma heralds green cities of the future on Kenya visit MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Orange peel, rubbish and fatbergs: the fuels behind the future of green transport MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Andy Green awarded CBE in New Year Honours MoD News 0
soleil FB: Green Dagger - A Film By 40 Commando Royal Marines The Corps 0
MoD_RSS McVey: Let's build a housing green revolution in the north of England MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Z3R0 EM15510N future: government to introduce green number plates MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Kenya closes its first ever green bond MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Housing Secretary unveils green housing revolution MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Cash boost to crackdown on illegal building on nation's Green Belt MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Over £500m new investment in green technologies for a cleaner and healthier future MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Cardiff’s new transport research network receives £1m UK Government cash boost to turn vehicles green MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Green light for HS2’s Euston ‘sugar cube’ MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Green businesses encouraged to apply for prestigious Queen’s Award MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Right to transfer determinations: West Kensington and Gibbs Green Estates MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Centre to tackle cancer and green transport technology to be focus of £720 million public-private partnerships MoD News 0
MoD_RSS John Glen speaks at the Green Finance Summit MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Rural sports clubs, schools and churches to go green thanks to £10 million Clean Energy Fund MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Welsh projects given the green light to develop the latest battery technology for electric vehicles MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Press release: Green light for investment in electric car battery development MoD News 0
MoD_RSS News story: Government ushers in new era of green commutes with e-bike Cycle to Work scheme MoD News 0
Similar threads


















































New Posts

Top