Green Rub Days

#1
Got this from a cyber mate in UK. Difficult to believe it's all true but if it is WOW that number one would have to be the greenest rub IMO

:lol:


Think you're having a bad day? read on.......



1
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The
deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks
on his back, flippers, and face mask.

A post-mortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off
the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The fire fighters, seeking to
control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of
helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the
ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.

You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breaststroke in a fire dip bucket
300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed; but keep reading......

------------------------------------

Still think you're having a bad day?

2
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in
the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was
dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called
for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill,
went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and
escort them to her husband.

While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending
to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his
trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once
again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched.

As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance,
they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them.
They started laughing so hard, one slipped, dropping the stretcher and
dumping the husband
out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
--------------------------------------------

Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse.......

3
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a
killer whale ate them both.
--------------------------------------------

Still think you are having a bad day?

4
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running
from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away
from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood,
breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been
happilylistening to his Walkman.


-------------------------------------------


STILL think you're having a bad day?

5
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two
thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampedingmadly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
--------------------------------------------

What?! STILL having a bad day?

6
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnaje didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it
was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?
 
#4
You should see if you can get a copy of a book I have called the
'Darwin Awards'

Guys who have killed themselves or committed silly acts .

Best one was the fishermen on a frozen lake using dynamite to make a hole for fishing ,the guy lit the dynamite fuse threw it and his dog retrieved it they tried to get it from the dog but the dog got scared and ran under the guys new 4X4 with the still lit dynamite.


Kids on a ski slope didnt have ski's snow boards they removed a coupe of
tree deflector guards and used them-------one of them died when he hit a non guarded tree!

The guy with the car in the desert using the Jato rocket fixed to his car.
The rocket was a surplus item .
They found him embedded with the remains of his car 40 ft up in a cliff face

[I think that one was an urban myth ]
 
#5
Yeah, heard about the Darwin Awards and often wonder why they are so-called. With the "urban myths" in this modern age of ' spin " and all the rest of the BS it makes it so difficult to know what is true. For example how many of the "bad day " dits are true? if any. Seems some people have got FAETD. Despite that some strange things do happen but which are true

:D
 
#6
The initial Darwin awards were all collected from newspaper report cuttings and police etc reports . They did a yearly judging and came up with the best ten each year.

I think they called them Darwin cos it was symbolic -like the weak brain cell story--and the evolution of the species!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

FlagWagger

GCM
Book Reviewer
#7
Greenie said:
The initial Darwin awards were all collected from newspaper report cuttings and police etc reports . They did a yearly judging and came up with the best ten each year.

I think they called them Darwin cos it was symbolic -like the weak brain cell story--and the evolution of the species!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Not quite, it was the person who did the most to strengthen humanity's gene pool by removing him/herself from it before reproducing!
 
#9
FlagWagger said:
Greenie said:
The initial Darwin awards were all collected from newspaper report cuttings and police etc reports . They did a yearly judging and came up with the best ten each year.

I think they called them Darwin cos it was symbolic -like the weak brain cell story--and the evolution of the species!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Not quite, it was the person who did the most to strengthen humanity's gene pool by removing him/herself from it before reproducing!
Sounds right, survival of the fittest and all that. Not fittest physically these days but mentally. Makes sense with some of the people who die because of something very stupid.Thought it had something to do with the city of Darwin where some are inclined to do silly things , usually when p****d
:D
 
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