Can anyone help me?? my girlfriend of 6 years who is in the RN recently went on a course within the RN. in this time she met a civilian bloke on the base and they had a 2 week fling whereby she was going to leave me for this bloke. the bloke in question stayed in her cabin on numerous occasions. my girlfriend has since apologised and we are trying to work through it but she still receives texts from this bloke. can i complain to anyone about this bloke and what would happen? any advice is really apreciated
If she was going to leave you for a bloke after a week fling with him, well IMHO the relationship must be wearing pretty thin, at least from her side of it.
As to him staying in her cabin, well she is in the RN, and the RN frowns (or did when I was in) on that sort of thing, and as he will not fall under the NDA, it will be her who is in the brown and smelly stuff if you report it. And if she is still getting texts from him, has she told him in no uncertain terms that it is over?????
As a matter of interest, how old are the pair of You?
Sounds like a good bite but going to add my 2pence worth;
* Looks like your relationship was over the minute the misses started looking up for future prospects. So, why are you wanting to carry on?
* You are checking her phone and her phone bills, no trust in the relationship, could you say from your heart you would ever trust her again?
* As for a civvy staying in her cabin; civvies who are not living/working on base i.e. Naafi staff, are not entitled to stay after 22:00 hrs, they are suppose to leave. If she has her own, single cabin, then she may have been slyenough to have him stay but considering she'd be living in a female block, I am pretty sure, someone would have seen and spoken up about having a stray male using their heads/showers etc.
* You can not complain to anyone about her actions, you are not married to her and the other person involved, is apparently a civvy. Now, if he was also serving and you were both married, then, yes, you can make a formal complaint as it goes against the RN rules ~(or so the dogs say).
So, matey, no offense when I say this;
Move on, get over her and learn a very valid lesson. Tough luck xx
Well said and a good observation on the underlaying problems with modern communication. They are in my oppinion, the 21st cent. equivalent of a ring through the nose, and handcuffs. Mobil phones are a form of control in the hands of the stupid.
Try and work through it kingfisher, but, a lot of trust has been lost.
I'm very curious (sorry we are nosey up North) as to why she even told you. She must value her relationship with you to have told you I suppose. Some people are stupid like that and tell their partner to ease their guilt. She can easily stop this guy - just get another number. Suggest you try that and see what happens.
As for kicking in her back door - well her back door is your back door so where does that get you ... [pause] ... ah Jimmy just called to explain ... you dirty sods!
From a naval point of view there is little that the RN can do; it is a domestic matter. If both parties were naval personnel, perhaps serving in the same unit, or perhaps one SR and one JR, then there may be a breach of the Social Codes of Conduct.
And as stated, you might have actually shot yourself in the foot from an evidential point of view, as you have unlawfully accessed her mobile phone records without her consent.
My only suggestion is that you talk to each other, or consult a relationship councellor.