Golf Shots

A Sally Gunnell - ugly but a good runner

A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer

A Diego Maradonna - a very nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - needs one more revolution

An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim

An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

A Kate Winslett - little bit fat but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss - bit thin

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water

An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result

A Russell Grant - a fat iron

A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron

A Rodney King - over-clubbed

An O.J. Simpson - got away with it

A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner

A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

A Robin Cook - just died on the hill

A Michael Jackson - gradually fading

A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs

An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you

A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

A Mrs Patel - ugly, but a good worker

An elephant's bum - high and shitty

A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

A circus tent - a BIG top

An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it

A sister in law - you're up there but you know you shouldn't be
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