A man staggered into a hospital with concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five-iron golf club wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally the Doctor asked, "What happened to you?" "Well I was having a quiet round of golf with my missus, when, at a difficult hole, we both sliced our shots into a Cow Pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the Cows had something white at its rear end" "I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a Golf Ball with my Wifes' Monogram on it stuck up the crack of the Cow's anus". "Still holding the Cow's tail up, I yelled to the wife, 'Hey this looks like yours!' " "I don't remember much after that"