GOK WAN (K) er

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Joint_Force_Harrier, May 19, 2009.

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  1. Mrs JFH is watching Gok Wanker on TV and I can't stand the limp wristed freak. How does he get away with touching up birds and not getting slapped. Hopefully he will get an Arse Injected Death Sentence soon and fuck off from my telly!

    How would you see him off? over to you monty!
     
  2. I'd bend him over and ram a large dildo wrapped in barbed wire up his harris then attach the dildo to one of those fcuking machine thingys, switch it to max speed and then go down the pub :lol:
     
  3. I would lure him into an abandoned warehouse using fat chicks in sh1te civvies as bait. Then once inside I would bolt crop his upper jaw bone to stop him gobbing off and then shave his eyes out with a potato peeler. I'd then cram 6000 woodscrews into his arrse cavity and nailgun his bollocks to the inside of his thighs. Next I would put his fingers in a suasage mixer but only up to the second knuckle then reverse them out so he just has mangled drippy fingers, then I'd put fags out on his face and set alight to his baby monkey hair and watch him try and put it out with flappy fingers. I'd then snap his spine and make him eat his own chogi c0ck. I would open him up at the waist and wind his guts out on a stick then shove ferrets in the wound so they eat him from the inside out.

    By this point the fat chicks will be hungry so I'd just cut his carotid artery with a dessert spoon and watch him bleed out.
     
  4. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Celebrity death match between the gook and the other fashion dykes Trinny and Susannah. Naked of course with high heels, handbags and channel no 5.
     
  5. Far more eloquent than my offering Monty, salutations to the master (until RJ blackcats you) :D
     
  6. I would like to add that it's now on my telly too and I'd like to drill the little Nivea slags bracketing the adverts. Dirt.
     
  7. Edited due to niceness having no place in Diamond Lil's
     
  8. +to be fair the women he normally touches up arent blessed so they are grateful for what they can get.
     
  9. Cut off his head,dig him out with a spoon.Have him vulcanised and turn him into a one piece diving suit and hang him on a meat hook.

    Oh,and then kill him very very slowly over a fire by spit roasting him.
     
  10. He's in NZ as we speak..er post. The missus was drooling last night at the thought of bumping into him. I was too but for entirely different reasons.
    My method, contact him via twitter or other social networking site claiming to be a NZ fashionista (Hey polyester and kipper ties are fashionable in NZ so I'm more than capable of bluffing the twunt.) and offering an invite to my gala display of my new collection, with hints of massive freebies and 5 course gourmet dinner and fab NZ wines by the gallon.
    He's bound to show interest and I'd then give directions to a friendly farmers property explaining that the rustic setting provided the ambiance my collection needed to juxtapose the.....(Enter own pretentious fashion twaddle here.), free car parking signs etc would lead the Asian into a darkened barn and on exiting his vehicle he and his assistants (he's bound to have a slave or two in tow.) would be blungeoned into unconciousness and would awake to find themselves trussed into a sheep drenching pen. (A narrowing metal frame into which sheep are forced to be medicated/molested by farmers.). Whilst still KO'd they would be secured and their nether garments would be removed and asses lubed.
    Unable to move the lowing, baying, barking of various farm animals would offer a hint of the pain and humiliation to come.
    Death by ANIMAL FARM!! Oh yes. :twisted:
    The DVD wil be available in the summer.

    Off for a lie down now.
     

  11. Keep IT in kiwi land :twisted:
     
  12. If the opportuntiy arose whereby I had the chance to have old c0ck boy chained to my special love bed in the cellar. I would start by taking an old rusty cut throat razor that I'd contaminated with the foetid diseased slurrey from the gusset of taloolahs dunghampers and deftly slice down his japs eye resulting in his c0ck being neatly severed into two flapping segments. These would then be removed and superglued onto his forehead thus giving him penis eyebrows. His ringpiece would also be removed with an apple corer, dipped in batter, deep fried and fed to him as a fried anus ring delicacy. The resultant gaping cavity of his colon region would be filled to bursting capacity with live wasps and neatly sealed with the aforementioned superglue. Once I'd warmed up and he was by this time in some discomfort it would be time for the main course. His eyes would first be cauterized with a red hot soldering iron and eventually removed and placed on an adjacent worktop for further use in the eventual process. Growler, my fashion programme hating Jack Russel terrier would then be encouraged to gnaw his ball bag until his balls fell off, to be recovered and placed on the same aforementioned worktop. I would then fill his eye sockets with maggots and superglue his testicles into the same said sockets so that over the next few weeks the handy little bluebottle babies would slowly eat the kunts brain. His eyes would be dipped in Growlers tapeworm ridden dog shit and force fed to old c0ck boy so that he also contracted tapeworms. After removing his teeth, tongue and voicebox with tinsnips (the soundproofing in the cellar isn't as good as it should be) I would then pull up a chair, open a nice bottle of Nuit St George, a packet of sour cream pringles, maybe some bombay mix (I fukking love that!) help myself to a pickled egg and slowly saviour the sight of the maggots and the tapeworms doing their crazy invertebrate/parasitic thing over the next few weeks.
     

  13. PMSL.
    I worry about you and Monty (that is of course being that you're not one of the same person!!) I hope no wannabe serial killers are reading this- you are very creative to say the least and seems you think about these things wayyyyyy too much!!! :lol: :wink:
     
  14. Oh no not another, "Is he someone else". There is far too much Paranoia on this site, everyone suspecting someone else,.........of being someone else.
    Perhaps everyone is someone else, perhaps I am you, and you are daffy1 and perhaps I am following me ,as well as you ,but your not real and I'm not here and...................................................... :twisted: . 8O 8O 8O 8O :D
     
  15. I'd simply have everyone ignore him / deny his existence. Attention seekers hate that and it'd be a much more effective form of long-term torture than any of the above!
     
  16. Do we have here, for the first time on RR, a 100% agreement, that as far as we are concerend, this man (sic) is a total waste of space?
    And how many sperm were left behind to create THAT !?!?!?!? :-(
     
  17. Where's the fun in that
     
  18. Errrmmm ....no way............Fcuk off.

    That's no fun at all.
     
  19. There are similarities granted, we are both dashing chaps and chicks dig us, but we are not the same person I can assure you.

    He says kunt and I say cnut.
     

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