Going to the ball.

Well it's that time of year again and tomorrow night I will be going to the HAC Christmas ball. For those of you who are unaware it was voted as the best party in London by Vogue magazine and basically is the most epic smash up of the year after the Army vs Navy at Twickers.

So mess kit is at the dry cleaners and my man is polishing my boots and spurs. Mrs 2_Deck has booked the afternoon off to get beautified and have her hair cut, I have even booked a Bentley from work to pick us up and drive us there in style. I have scurried a case of Cava away in my locker at the HAC so I don't have to pay the extortionate champagne prices at the bar (it's pretty much the same shit anyway and it will be dark so no one will be able to tell the difference!)

I am pretty much fully prepped and am looking forward to a repeat performance of previous years. Fun activities in the past at HAC mess functions have included:

Being sick in a girls hair.
Naked spiderman impressions on the mess roof (the mess is 4 storeys high.)
Waking up in the girl's locker room.
Waking up in the back of an Armoured Personnel Carrier.
Waking up in the back of a Jungly Sea King.
Going to the strip club accross the road while my wife is having a nap in the chill out lounge.
Stealing people's champagne.
Being asked nicely to leave by the RSM.
Singing Hearts of Oak while the Regimental March is played.
Nearly losing my hand in the breach opening mechanism of a 105 light gun whilst drunkenly demonstrating it's capabilities to some chicks who weren't interested.
Fighting with the SCO from my old ship and trying to trap his wife after he had blagged his way in.

If anyone has any other suggestions for a top night, it would be much appreciated. Also if anyone is wondering why I am not posting much over the weekend it is probably because I am dead.

Edited due to a rogue comma.
Being given my badly scrawled phone number back by Navs the following day. He was handed it by his Mrs who told him she didn't understand a word I'd said to her...


War Hero
Book Reviewer
Ah. The HAC ball. It has always had a reputation for being a messy affair, mainly because the members of the HAC have more money than sense. 2DD, with your reputation for being an utter loon, i can see how you fit in. How can i offer any advice to a man who is clearly in his own league? Enjoy mate!
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