"Going in dry" Etiquette.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Montigny_La_Palisse, Jul 15, 2009.

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  1. Quick one, when you've trapped a one nighter, and you can't be arsed with foreplay and just want to shoot yer muck in it. Is it worse form to gob on your c0ck or pour beer on it before driving it home?

    Wouldn't want to come across as ill-mannered like so any help would be gratefully recieved.
  2. Gob's probably the closest thing to it I suppose, beer would be pretty manky tbh. Depends on whether or not you're going to Pinkton or Brown town :wink:
  3. Fair one, what if you gob beer though? You've got it covered then. I find spit best for brown.

    It would be good to hear a ladies perspetive on this, wouldn't want to upset one.
  4. I'm sure one of the poofs on here will be along shortly to tell you about their beer-battered onion ring :lol:
  5. Pretty easy that one mate gob on it as its a waste of perfectly good beer otherwise!!
  6. If you have to gob on your c0ck or pour beer on it before ramming it home MLP, I would suggest that either you are doing something very wrong or simply your conquest considers you a fcuking munter 8O

    Have a wonderful evening


    P.S. I find that coughed up green ones invariably make the finest lubricant.
  7. Surely shouldnt one always carry a tube of starters with one?
  8. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    If you are so crude as to use oral lubrication just make sure she supplies by means of a BJ. :safe:
  9. First of all, as you are a fully paid-up member of the (cough) 'Essence' club on RR :wink: , may I suggest that the woman in question should, by all bets, be naturally creaming her knicks enough to lubricate the both of you and squeaky hotel door ( assuming the deed is being done with a smattering of finesse) just at the sight of you....failing that....

    [Hang on a mo '! you should be wearing a rubber, end of, for your sake if not hers, fcs.... :roll: ] If you consider yourself to be as immortal as you are good-looking :wink: I'd suggest plain old water....and get her to moisten up as well if she's a bit dry.....clean fingers please, attended to by other means than a sluice from the office dog's tongue .

    Lastly, don't forget the post-shag tissue wipe-down, especially if you've come over her hard-to-reach-places prior to falling asleep. It's the gentlemanly thing to do. :) :wink:

    Edited for pisspoor grammar.
  10. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    So what do you prefer, spit or beer?
  11. Or just get her to wipe the jizz off with her crusty creamy nicks and use the curtains to wipe your cock on if in a travel lodge or in her house.

    Works for me although i only shag essence birds that match my exacting standards :wink: :wink:
  12. And don't forget to leave a note on the underside of the shitter pan for hubby
  13. Not if she's not expecting it and it's a "Surprise".
  14. True mate especially if its a tag team jobby and she's sucking your oppo off whilst you slip her a crippler!!! 8O

  15. Breathing,(unassisted preferable, but not compulsory)
    Not stuck to glass,
    Able to say "yes" even if drug induced,
    Registered female, even if not at birth,
    Limbs preferable,
    Virginity, well at least know what it was even if cannot remember it,
    And at least one mussel in spam can still working,
    Last but not least, bathed within the last week. 8O 8O 8O :oops: :oops: :D :D :D :D :D

    With these exacting standards, how do you ever find anyone in Birmingham?, it must be hard. 8O :D
  16. Isn't that a contradition, hun ? :D 8O .... :?: or are we talking a 'Surprise' winkwinksurprise.

    And no curtains, pleeaassseee 8O ......Travelodge don't hoover them ! You'll be walking around with more dust on your Boy than a lint roller :roll: :D
  17. Christ another bint that calls blokes "hun" like its a sexy term of phrase. Must be in her forties!!! :D :roll:

    The last time i looked the curtains were made of plastic to avoid jizz violation but there is a certain establishment i used to work at near me where the first thing i was warned about was never to touch the bottom of the curtains!!! 8O
  18. Not sexy, just affectionate -there's a difference :roll: :) And no, not in my forties, leastways not yet. :wink:

    ....Or is it the fact Monty's getting more attention than you ? :lol: :wink:
  19. It is what it is and reminds me when i was called the same by Carrolannebellenditis a while back!! Gopping!!! :x :x

    Don't worry about the matter of who's getting more attention than who as we both have enough fanny to go around so are both in the process of having to ditch some!!

    Your first!! :wink:
  20. Now there's an assumption to make :roll: 8) ... I'm not a piece of yours or anyone elses 'fanny' .....never was :lol: Ahh. No matter. Redundancy looms, bigger worries afoot, this ain't worth the energy :)

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