Goin merc

Discussion in 'The Corps' started by Nails, Dec 11, 2008.

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  1. I'll be honest with you. Becoming a badass marine isn't my end goal. It's more a way to get to be a lone soldier or, as is more commonly known, a mercenary. My father was a merc. Did a lot of sh!t in nam, korea, falklands and some top secret sh!t in afica somewhere that apparently went hard core on him. My dad's told me stories of his merc days, I leanrt how he was cornered in a shack and attacked by 100s of infantry and a tank. He killed most of the infantry with his bayonet and destroyed the tank by charging it head on, jumping on top of it's main gun, reaching for his nades and throwing a nade down the barrel of the gun ... then leaping to cover before the nade exploded inside the barrel and obliterated everything inside.

    So how does one go from marine to merc? Who do you contact? Clearly you can't just knock on the RSM's door and say "listen up fool, i'm goin merc". So how do you get to be a lone soldier and wander the lands fighting for the highest bidder? It's my dream and I aim to make it happen.
  2. You know that the real test before becoming a mercenary is cutting your own balls off?
    That's how they know you're a man. Would you mess with someone who cut off his own balls?

    So I'm sorry to say, that your mum was either fu(king around or you're adopted. Sorry, mate.
  3. Nah cutting your bloody fingers off would be better!
  4. But they you wouldn't be able to throw a grenade down the barrel of the tank's gun.
  5. I was thinking of going merc...but decided to go Ford....
  6. I went Vauxhall.
  7. What's a nade?
    I would contact Sir Mark Thatcher, he's always on the lookout for new talent wanting to sort out the natives in Africa (Or Afica as you'd have it) to protect or enhance his allegedly shady investments. Be prepared however to spend a bit of time eating Government mealie (Porridge) for a few years if you go this route.
    Watch the Wild Geese and Dogs of War for acurate portrayals of Mercenary activity to fully prepare yourself for this exciting career.
  8. Not a bad movie that Wild Geese....
  9. I'm having goose for Christmas, although it's not wild. I'd imagine it will be pretty cross, though, when they kill it.
  10. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    [​IMG]Don't bother knocking, just stroll in, he'll be only too pleased to point you in the right direction.

    RSM's are very helpful like that.
  11. Nails the best mercs are from the RAF Reg mate. They really are the best all round for such as:

    Beret Wearing,
    "Smock" Crease Sharpness,
    Combat Facepaint Design,
    Chunky Watch Chunkiness,
    Lowa Boot Cleanliness (in the Field).

    And more Rockapes have the (little known) medal for "Weapon used on a range and worn like a 'nam killer when strutting but never used for real".

    Sorry mate but Royal just can't compare to the likes of that!
  12. Nails

    Not one of your better ones. In fact, pretty lame in comparison to your other wind ups. Running out of ideas are we ?
  13. I am a Merc just about every day as it goes and I get kitted up prior to battle and prepare correctly with a cup of tea and a bacon butty before setting off for my day of destiny.

    I am never too sure which kit to pick and it will depend on my mood that day really; Sniper, Special Ops, Support or even Medic. I must say that Sniper can be very satisfying, just laying there with just a couple of well placed claymores for company, picking off targets as they try to capture the 'suburbs' or the 'market'. I really have racked up some impressive kill tallies and am well on my way to more 'fanny magnets' and my dear old Dad would be so proud of his killing machine of a son were he still around.

    I have even been known to clamber into some armour and quite happily trundle around the battlefield killing all and sundry and nothing beats the euphoria of a 'one shot kill' on an enemy tank. :)

    The only thing I do dislike is air combat as I am pretty poor at that and could do with some lessons from one of my RAF bad ass pilot mates. Hey-ho, one cannot be brilliant at everything on the battlefield can one?

    You go for it Nails and I am sure you have all the right attributes to take on such a task and if all else fails, you can do what all the other young 14 year olds do - download a hack for aimbot, wall glitching etc.

    Enough of my Battlefield 2 exploits on the PC for now. :)
  14. God your good mate. Wish i matched your exploits on the battlefield. Right i'm off to joined the Rockapes and guard an airfield in my shiny boots!! :thumright:
  15. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Assuming he has some to cut off in the first place..?

  16. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Yes it is a good ol' film. Did you know that Roger Moore's eyebrows received two oscar nominations for it?
  17. Most Mercs start in a "Naked Bar"!!!!!!!
  18. Have you tried ringing your local AFCO? :rofl:
  19. :toilet: The mong is boring me now. My monies on him being another window licking Rock ape. :tp:
  20. hang on, I think I just hurt me 'nades laughing.........


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