War Hero
The First Sea Lord, The Air Chief Marshall and an Royal Marine RSM all die and go to Heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St Peter informs them that only one of them can get in. However, each will be allowed to state his case before God infront of the other two. The best argument wins.
The First Sea Lord goes first: "I have commanded thousands of men and women, held ships crew's lives in my hands. I have ensured that the food is good, the clothing is acceptable and none of them have gone without. The ships spend only 4 months at sea, and 2 years in refit so the boys and girls can see their families".
God in His chair nods his appreciation.
The Air Chief Marshal steps up: "I have a budget of billions every year in which I make sure the best aircraft have been bought. I have life and death powers over the servicemen and women of the RAF and have plowed millions into making the RAF's accomadation the best in the armed forces that evryone is jealous about, I make sure RAF bases are nowhere near a combat zone but that they still get a medal for their efforts playing volleyball".
God smiles appreciatively at this.
The RSM steps up: "Oi! You!" he shouts at God, "Get out of my chair!"