God is a bootneck...official.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by wet_blobby, Dec 22, 2007.

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  1. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    He is, so there.

    I have just started on one of my lifes new adventures, this time I've decided to be a trucker for a while.....sounds easy...well I thought so.

    Fcuk me, was I wrong. I took my class 1 test years ago, about 14...but, just like riding a bike isn't it, once you learn you never forget. So there I am Thursday morning at O' sparrow fart o'clock keys in hand looking at a fcuking monster of a vehicle which has more nobbly bits on the gear lever than a cock with penile warts.

    So, picture the scene, a very worried looking blobbs and a very worried looking truck. ...........Then....enter stage left....an ex Bootie..."alright mate, you looked fcuked, need a hand"....I could of kissed him. So my gaurdian angel talked me around the cab, "reminded" me how to fill in a tacho and basically sheperded me for an hour until he was happy I knew what I was doing. Then at each of my next 3 drops (reversing something bigger than a row of terraced houses isn't easy) There was an ex Bootie already doing a drop and each one of them came forward and helped me out...quality.

    So God really is a Bootneck and certainly looks after his own. :thumright:

    Happy crimbo folks.
  2. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Not wishing to shatter illusions:

    The laws of average state, Blobbs, that doubtless you had a crowd gathered in idle curiosity at each drop off. Statistically, if the crowd was big enough, there would have to be a Booty in amongst it.

    If the driving was Sooooo bad, another Booty, worth his salt, would think... "Christ I could do better than that nugget..."

    Mystery solved :thumright:
  3. I'm glad the old truckers' code of helping each other out still operates.

    I was trucking on and off for 30 years. Loved most of it.

    In the early days, if a truck broke down on the motorway, there would be a queue of about twenty trucks behind it in minutes all seeing if they could help out. You don't see that nowadays, cos everyone is on tachos and/or satellite tracking. Swipe cards are the latest. They even know if you change gear at the wrong revs.

    A mate of mine, recently, working for an agency, stopped for a Jimmy at a service area. After about a minute his phone rang, and a voice from the office accused him of going the wrong way. He had parked facing the opposite direction! (Shudder!)
  4. I eat big trucks and spit em out WB unless you have the globe and buster on the cab door.

  5. ....and when you've cut yer teeth on that Matchbox Toy.....


  6. The Lauchhammer[German] I know it well matey we had ours on a railwayline! And the winds they did blow and the thing it did go. It was the annoying trip to set the overloads for the bucketwheel located at the rear of the back boom that was crap. Up and down all those steps over rusty gratings.

    Not forgetting the greasing of the pulleys at the top of the mast. In your spare time??? The thing collapsed on Christmas Day the tublar construction allowed the build up of water inside.

    Mind it was easier than the thirty ton the Michigan L480 or Cat 992 could grab in each bucket.

    The Lauchhammer could reclaim over ten thousand ton in a shift. Just jam the bucketwheel deadman's handle with a piece of stick and take out the reading material and hope the boom limiters stop the sweep before hitting the rear conveyor system. And pray for low winds!
  7. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Jeez, that looks evil. Anyway I'm doing this trucking shite, hopeless as I may be, but, gotta feed the kids, scary or not.
  8. I gave the test examiner a seizure on the test!

    No dual controls and all I had was my honda four cycle to practise on decided to go for the HGV and car license all in one go.

    Told me I was driving the wagon as though I was on my cycle. Emergency stop in the test centre all the porn shot from under the passenger seat. He was not amused!! Miserable old fart! It was the instructors porn me being a clean living lad thought you should know :bball:
  9. you sort of feel that the thing in the picture has to have been connected to the thing in the film below don't you?

  10. Only the Germans could design such a evil, sinister looking thing like that BillyNoMates. It looks like something the SS used to dig mass graves! Uurgh!
  11. i want me one of them big feckers, neighbours would love that parked on their grass verge.

    good luck with the new job blobbs
  12. Feck me, whats it harvesting?
  13. How can GOD possibly be a booty? they dont go down to and under the sea in boats, (well very rarely). So Blobs just put it down to coincidence, quirk of fate, sympathy or lorry drivers sense of humour.
    Like the big machines could use one in the back garden at the moment.
  14. He meant you were driving like a bleedin' cnut! :pottytrain1:
  15. Booties dream about becoming submariners... when they grow up! ;)

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