God botherers

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by wet_blobby, Feb 26, 2011.

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  1. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    What the fcuk is up with these people?

    Drama queen whores or what, I've had three of the fcukers round at my house today, 'are you ok'...... 'need to talk'....... 'do you need God in your life'..........'how you coping'

    fcuk sake, not as if we are in the epicentre of disasterville down here in ommers, if all them lightwieghts fleeing Christchurch didn't keep rocking up and the supermarkets wern't empty you'd never know anything had happened.

    So, there I was, chopping wood, minding my own business when the first fcuker strolled up, straight into the back garden and wanted a word with me, no invite, it went like this.....

    God Botherer.... 'what you up to brother'
    Blobbs.... ' what you reckon brother'
    God botherer.... ' I'm here to ask you about God'
    Blobbs.... 'hell.... why? have you lost him?'
    God botherer... 'No, I'm here to check on the spiritual well being of people after the quake, making sure your ok and wondering if God can help'
    Blobbs..... 'he'll be better checking on someone else mate, perhaps someone in Christchurch'
    God botherer.....' we need to check the spiritual well being of everyone, do you believe?'
    Blobbs... 'yep, but in a private kind of way, when I'm in the sh1t and need help'
    God botherer...' no non believers in a foxhole ay?'
    Blobbs....'you're on to it'
    God botherer....'so you believe?'
    Blobbs.... ' yep, I just dont shove it down anyones throat, I also believe your gonna fcuk off now'
    God botherer.... bye.

    Fcuksake, why dont they go hold hands with people who need it instead of easing there concience on dumb fcuks like me, if they want to genuinley help others instead of making themselves feel good by safely spreading the word in their own little comfort zone go do it. Left me with a sense of me meant to be helping them.

    If you want to wear something on your sleeve live up to it.
  2. Aye, the Jehova's Witness lot here in the UK piss me off.I usually say I have an appointment to give blood and they scowl and feck off.

    Lately I'v taken to telling them I'm jewish and shutting the door. They come back less and less since
  3. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

  4. na I keep em at the door as long as I can and dispute everything they say. Feckers cant get away fast enough
  5. I once invited a couple of Mormon birds in for a chat because they were really fit. I listened to them spout about stuff for 30 mins (over orange juice, of course) and it was going fine until I asked the burning question about polygamy. They said that it was only a few Mormons who practice that and left. Never returned.
  6. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Hmm, so you're blaming their religious beliefs for the fact that you got blown out by a pair of hotties..?! :? ?:twisted:
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2011
  7. A while ago some jehovas witness people kept turning up once a month or so to try and make us 'join them' ;) . After asking mother if she was interested for like the 4th time they asked would the kids be interested. I replied yes and sat talking to them, after about 5 mins i casually turned the TV on and ignored them. Never seen them since, they just skip our house, its like an easy version of pest control. :laughing6:
  8. Just open the door and say " I'm a Muslim,Sikh or Talmudist " they soon feck off.
    I wouldn't want three wives ,unless they had jobs!,I may have been able to handle them in the past but three Mothers in Law is a nightmare in the making.
    Beside they never had Viagra in my time!
  9. I just tell them I see dead people.
  10. I asked the last one in for a cuppa.When He was sat down with his mug of char I said "what can I do for you" He replies "Dunno mate I've never got this far before!"
  11. I feel left out, not once have these fuckers ever come round to bother me.

    Could be because I have styled my front garden on no 22 shit street from Viz.
  12. Try and sell them a phone. Ignore everything they say and just keep going on about how you can offer them the lowest rates. Also works with cold callers.
  13. I generally find that:
    'I'm gay and live with a black jewish lesbian' works wonders.
    Or, I point to the sign on the door that say no travelling salesmen and add 'Go and peddle your pernicious rubbish elsewhere'
    Both have equal success.
  14. Is that sign in English or Spanish?
  15. It words equally well in both countries - but the 'no travelling salesmen' sign is Spanish - well spotted sir!
  16. one of the sweetest moments of my life was when i was a charity basher, knocking on peoples doors trying to get them signed up to charitys, untill one day a guy said to me im a jahovas witness, to which i replyed, ha now were knocking on your door!......he didnt find it funny

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