A skimmer dies and goes to heaven and meets Peter on the gates of heaven. He greets the skimmer and permits him entry. Before skims goes in, he turns to Peter and asks,"You haven't got any submariners here have you"? "Good God, no! They all go to the other place for their sins"! Peter replies. "Good", says skims. "Us surface people dont get on with sun-dodgers", and proceeds through the gates of heaven and is shown to his cloud. After a few weeks of sheer bliss, just floating around, having anything he wants, his every whim seen to, in the distance he can see this cloud floating towards him. As it gets closer, he can see that it is absolutely leaping. And sat on it is the most scruffiest individual he's every seen. The man has a scruffy grey beard, stained with nicotine with fag butts sticky out of it. He has a grubby, what was once white woolly pully on, stained with desiel fuel. He's swearing at angels as he goes by, swigging CSB. The Skims notices his cap. It has a HM Submarines cap tally on it. Skims rushes off to find Peter. "Hey! Peter. I thought you didn't have any submariners in heaven"? And proceeds to tell him what he saw. "Oh", says Peter. "Thats not a submariner. Thats God. He just thinks he's a submariner".