Gib the dream draft - not

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by stan_the_man, Jun 27, 2011.

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  1. Stan does nearly 5 years at sea on York so thinking he deserves some favours from drafty and requests a draft to Gib as my final draft before going outside. As is usual the first three months are spent totally on the piss until it becomes boring. Living in a MQ in Rosia Court with Mrs S and my daughter T. Great lots of sunshine Spain at the weekends.
    Then Stan thinking his time is drawing near gets on the signal for WO1 (which gives me another 10 years) and the Mrs lands a dream job earning mega bucks, fcuk me the wrath of the devil reigns down on us not by the matelots but the wives fcuking, fat heffer, council house fishwives who were plagued with jealousy. POETS in the SR Mess one Friday and I was fcuked off with it all, no-one would speak to my wife and the other kids were told not to play with my gaughter so I walked up to the fishwives table and put £100 quid down and said ladies please take this because I can't spend all my money this month as you can imagine things went even further downhill and I took the first appointment I could get to leave the incestuous shithole.

    Just before I left we (Buffers Party) were asked to act as the enemy for an exercise involving the Gib Regiment normally this was done by the SAS but they were not very popular having shot 3 boggy terrorists a couple of years ealier.
    Time of my life about 5000 rounds of 5.56mm blank, thunderflashes and chinese crackers were were told to make night attacks around the Rock and Umpires would then assess the Gibbos capability to defend themselves - they couldn't. Fcuking hell we scared the shit out of them, me and 6 ABs ran them ragged but ultimately they had to win (don't they always??).
    We end up in the tunnels with about 100 Gib Percy's chasing us everytime they came round a corner in the tunnel one of my lads would shout "Pull ( as in clay pidgeon shooting) we would let rip with blanks and thunderflashes and the umpire would declare 5 of them dead. Great but at the end of the exercise they captured us - one of the worst kicking I've ever had because they knew we had taken the piss out of them for 5 days and nights. Hated the place ever since.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Indeed, dream drafts can often turn out to be utter dog shit.

    2 years in on the Exeter, and things are looking rosy for young 2DD, promotion to LOM is on the horizon, great bunch of mates down the mess, a bit of dosh tucked away, the ship's program could be a little better but hey that's life in the blue one.

    Then one day I see a draft request for a phalanx operator on an RFA. Having spent a few weeks doing force protection on Grey Rover, I realised that it would be fucking epic, 24 hour cheap bar, negative rounds, negative watchkeeping, negative duties, big cabins. Basically a dream job for a sprog AB and the chance to get out of an up and coming BOST.

    Obviously I slapped in straight away and to my surprise, a few weeks later I got my draft order to join Fort Vic. Win! Or so I thought.

    It was all expected and more, with just 12 of us matelots onboard we had acres of space, 4 man cabins each, top scran and very little to do. This however proved to be the downfall. There really was absolutely nothing to do. We were in Scotland, stuck on little fueling jetties in the middle of nowhere, with no pubs, no sporting facilities, no shops, nothing. After a few weeks the epic boredom really set in and we'd start to just wander around this massive, empty ship looking for things to pass the time. At one point we restored a flight deck crazy golf set that we'd found tucked away but otherwise it was a little chipping and painting and the odd table tennis game. The RFA lads didn't want to know us (apart from the gay ones, of which there were many), we were matelot scum.

    Just as I was about to top myself to relieve the dullness, we were sent down the gulf unexpectedly. It was the most exciting thing that could have happened. Unfortunately with a gulf trip, comes a squadron of Merlins and a bigger bunch of throbbers, one could not hope to meet. Most of them, including their chiefs, had never even been to sea. They behaved like bellends, pissed off the RFA lads and made life difficult for everyone on board, worse still, I had to give up my 4 man cabin and sleep in a big mess with a load of WAFU bastards. It was utter pump and I would have done anything for just a whiff of the aft heads on a stumpy 42.

    A year and a half later I slapped in and went outside, couldn't take anymore of it.
     
  3. I had an RFA the Dilligence own cabin/office and almost permanantly alongside in Dubai, no job, only 6 lads to look after, make a mend every day, no duties. Met the Mrs who was expat moved into her apartment complete with chilled swimming pool fcuk me even got a medal thrown in!! then York for nearly 5 years but needed the sea time for my finances to recover.
     
  4. Have to admit I did 4 months on Dilipig following the Unicorn (the boat, not a horsey thing with it's dick on it's swad) around the Indian Ocean and Middle East. Quality time at sea or alongside when the boat was away apart from no subbies but a 4 man cabin to myself with an en-suite shower and a big fuck off window to look out of (not a scuttle, they're different). For a submariner it was brill, there was about a dozen of us, when we got back we were all sunburnt alky's.
     
  5. I have had 3 big trips on an RFA with our chopper hanging off the arse end and we NEVER had a prob with the ships crew. Guess you must have rubbed em up the wrong way 2DD!!!!!
     
  6. Could have phrased that better using it in the same sentence as RFA.
     
  7. Served with Guilda did he?
     
  8. Guilda? Spin the dit.
     
  9. Gilda if I've spelt it right was the most notorious of the RFA brown hooters in the late 60's early 70's. I can't remember which ship it served in, it was def a tanker, green ranger or black. Anyhow it used to dance in the bars along the hard in Pompey and everyone threw it money.
    At sea during ras it used to pop out various upper scupper screen doors and flash. It was quite entertaining in it's own way.
    Jesse or Granny will remember the raving feed.
     
  10. Clearly you were part of the problem, not part of the solution. Bloody WAFUs.

    ;)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. It was a right pain in the arse, (oops), having your own cabin ya know. And we even had our own bar! The pool f'wrd of the hangar was Ok but sloshed around a bit in harry roughers when we couldnt fly.......bugger I know.

    Enough bottom innuendo's!

    (RFA Regent)

    ps Oh and STM lived in Gib as a kid for 5 years, best years of my life.....ahhhh Rosia bay.
     
  12. That'll be as opposed to 'white as Albino' alkis then!
     

  13. Who you callin white Honkey?
     


  14. didums,.............. at least they gave me a choice.
     
  15. as if...........
     
  16. or didnt give a reach round most like huh
     
  17. You crabs always were shite at banter, do you not have a freeway to travel looking a complete cunt in your Range Rover.
     
  18. Kinell !! :shock:

    I remember it ..... used to use two mirrors in the Criterion / Clairemont, one for grimacing in, and the other for smiling (couldn't tell the difference really !! Good dancer though .... cough !! ;) )

    All those years in Pompey, and I didn't know it was an RFA 'man' - Hmmmmm, sure you're not spinning a dit here ?

    :)
     
  19. Youve drunk too much again havent you......you silly little boy now
     
  20. You took yer fucking time, plucking up courage were we ?. You are still shite at banter, want to up the anti ?.
     

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