Why is is that women think wanking is such a crime? I got caught today and she went right off on one. She dropped a sprog two weeks ago so I aint getting any. Shes got a fanny like a butchers offal bucket and that just isn't on my SOPs. Nah that's bollox given the opportunity I would love to stick it right up her, but the doc said no shagging for 6 weeks! 6 weeks ffs! Getting ever so slightly frustrated with the baby getting all the boob time, I decided on a bit of solo action, big mistake she comes in the bedroom and catches me, "you dirty bar steward" and all the rest. The thing is I've got needs and I wasn't banging out of watch so what's the problem?