Get your puffta jokes in now.

AngryMonkey

Lantern Swinger
#2
Re: Get you puffta jokes in now.

What is this country coming to when unelected rich bastards have the nerve to tell us that we have to endure freedom of expression. I for one would prefer to live in a nation where a shower of expense theiving shites could tell me what to say and think, after all surely thats what my greatgrandad died at Dunkirk for.
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
#7
A young army private was home on leave. He was talking to his father about his experience at jump school while learning to be a paratrooper.

"Father" he says, "on my first jump, I froze up at the door of the plane. A big black Sgt standing behind me told me that if I didn''t jump, he was going to ram all 12 inches of his dik up my butt."

"Well, did you jump?" asks the father.

To which the son replied, "Just a little at first".

Nicked off the internet.
 
#8
witsend said:
A young army private was home on leave. He was talking to his father about his experience at jump school while learning to be a paratrooper.

"Father" he says, "on my first jump, I froze up at the door of the plane. A big black Sgt standing behind me told me that if I didn''t jump, he was going to ram all 12 inches of his dik up my butt."

"Well, did you jump?" asks the father.

To which the son replied, "Just a little at first".

Nicked off the internet.
:lol: I like that joke, I may have to tell that one at work tomorrow...... 8O
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
#9
Three ducks went into court. The judge called the first one to the stand.

"What is your name?" he asked.

"Quack." the duck answered.

"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.

"I was blowing bubbles." he answered.

The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the duck and called up the next one.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Quack," the duck answered.

"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.

"I was blowing bubbles." the duck replied.

Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, so he called up the next duck.

"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess, Quack." he said.

"No," said the duck, "My name is Bubbles."
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
#10
A guy walks into a pub one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow! you must have had one hell of a day." "Yes, I''ve just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy walks into the pub and asked for the same drinks. When the barman asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I''ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy walks into the pub and ordered another six double vodkas. The barman said, "Jesus! Doesn''t anybody in your family like women?"

"Yeah, my wife..."
 
#12
Passed-over_Loggie said:
Does this mean that my Septic pals can still call me a Limey and my Occer and Kiwi pals can still call me a Pom?

Yes, but you will not be able to call the Septic a Yank (as in yanking one off), the Kiwi a Kiwi (offensive to birds), or the convict a Dink (who cares) :lol:
 

witsend

MIA
Book Reviewer
#14
Passed-over_Loggie said:
witsend. That's a really good piccy of your Mrs. Glad the love bite's gone; I felt realy guilty about that.
No problem mate!

Can you ask your Mrs to wipe her arrse, the lads are fed up with being called violent lovers.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#15
witsend said:
Passed-over_Loggie said:
witsend. That's a really good piccy of your Mrs. Glad the love bite's gone; I felt realy guilty about that.
No problem mate!

Can you ask your Mrs to wipe her arrse, the lads are fed up with being called violent lovers.
That's your misses? I thought that was a wind up.
 
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