Gash Pipes !!

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by TailGunner09, Jun 19, 2009.

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  1. Lets here your fave gash pipes.

    You here there care is to be taking forward of the bull ring deck plates removed lol

    Mr John Lennon , Oasis maintainer Gangway. lol.

    Etc etc.
     
  2. Do you hear there. Transport for Liverpool will be leaving in 10 minutes time.
    -------
    DYHT. Transport for Liverpool will be leaving in 5 minutes time.
    -------
    DYHT. All those requireing transport in to Liverpool, you`ve dipped cos its just gone.
     
  3. DYHT All STP users log off.

    YHT Leave , Leave you civvies in your locker and crack on.

    Barry John for Carry On.

    Anyone know the were abouts of the Paxman Valentes return the same to the same.

    DYHT. The person holding the ships ignition key return the same to the bridge.

    lolol
     
  4. DYHT, Would the person who dropped a five pound note in the dinning room, please fall in three deep outside the regulating office. :D
     
  5. Chief Wiggum - Regulating office
     
  6. Changing currencies Ark Royal

    "All those that wish to do so, but have been unable to do so, may so do now if they so wish."

    Wind ups. (HMS Plymouth.)

    RO Tate gangway.
     
  7. I may have posted these pipes elsewhere in the past but these are some that immediately come to mind. There were either made by me or heard by me - I wont say which ones I made as self incrimination is not my forte:

    The Naffi has run out of washing powder - Dryad, Summer '83
    DYHT, rounds this evening are cancelled - Illustrious '85, after BM received a call purporting to be from OOD\DLC
    DYHT, the happy couple are about to leave the ship, - Broadsword '87, Chief RO having wedding reception on board
    Able Seaman Way Gangway - Broadsword '87 with a long emphasis on "Gangway"
    Able Seaman Bird lay aft - Broadsword '87
    DYHT, anybody knowing the whereabouts of my Bosun's mate, please return him to the flight deck - Broadsword '87
     
  8. Rothera, Antarctica

    "DYHT, Louis Bernard and Jack Blair, Naval Tailors, now in attendance on the jetty"

    Newcastle:

    "DYHT, this is not a rhetorical question"
     
  9. Old Ark Royal ( Captain Ray Lygo.)

    The bosuns mate was asked to pipe for Lt/Cdr Gash. Which he did.
    Lt/Cdr Gash appears on the bridge and rips into the bosuns mate.
    "My name is Lt/Cdr Gash pronounced GAYSH. Do you understand".
    Bosuns mate apologises profusely.

    2hrs later. Fall out from flying stations. Bosuns mate told to pipe gash may now be ditched.

    "Do you hear there. GAYSH may now be ditched"

    5 days No9's I believe.
     
  10. Was 5th watch sat at Bristol airport when a CMEA said I'm bored, think I'll get a pipe made. He bimbled off to customer services. came back with a smile and sat down. 2 secs later there was the airport "bing bong" and a female voice announced over the entire concourse " Would Mr Hugh Janus contact baggage" Didn't take long for security to suss the 10 matelots p1ssing themselves in the corner :lol:
     
  11. A few of my faves:

    DYHT.. Tonights evening meal will be served between 1830 and 1850....... The ship's company are reminded that there is a large selection of takeaway menus on the gangway, most of whom will deliver to the dockyard.

    When a type 23 was coming alongside, pipe heard from my ship (a 42): DYHT the gash barge is now alongside therefore out all gash out all gash.

    DYHT.. Louis Bernard and Jack Blair naval outfitters now in attendance on the jetty.
    Followed immediately by: insert name of rating with gashest civvies here.............. Jetty.

    Following a long pipe by the XO basically banning everyone from bringing scran back onboard due to a few kebabs and pizzas being thrown around 2 deck: 'XO, big eats, gangway.'
     
  12. tiddlyoggy

    tiddlyoggy War Hero Book Reviewer

    Boxer '90, stoker in HQ1 (Tug Wilson IIRC) funny thing is he wasn't a sprog either, but during one forenoon he did all the old classics, (Seaman Stains-bedding store, Marine boy-diving store, RO Tate-bearing head) but my favourite he did was, "Care is to be taken on the yard arm, wet paint!" The whole ship had big grins all day apart from the Jimmy who kept running down to HQ1 to bollo*k him.
     
  13. Also had a Cox'n who suffered from spoonerism/malapropism who made a full main broadcast prior to sailing to the states

    DYHT prior to sailing all ships company are to ensure they have an in-date birth certificate.

    He meant passport, bless him
     
  14. He wasn't a Lt/cdr but a chockhead - Dave Gash
     
  15. "No smoking, no naked lights on the upper deck, H2O spillage."
     
  16. Initial Issue Of Tissue
    Will Be Issued
    From The Tissue Issue Store
    At 1900
     
  17. DYHT we are now entering UK waters, all wrens are now officially ugly again
     

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