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Gash Pipes


Lantern Swinger
My apologies if this has been done before, but it's always good for a giggle, so.....There is nothing like the sport of getting the sprog Bosuns Mate to make gash pipes before the more experienced QM can stop him. To start us off, here are a few of my favourites with my explanation in brackets for the non naval types who are here

PO Leaseman, report to the Regulating office (Policeman)

The person leaving the reindeer and sleigh on the hanger roof is to remove the same immediately (heard on the night of Xmas eve, HMS London 1987)

Chief GI, ring 1 1 2

Chief SA, ring 1 4 1

Mr bit, Oceanclean, report to your supervisor (Oceanclean are civy cleaning contractors for ships alongside in base port)

Care is to be taken on the port bridge wing, Seagnat launcher may Train and Elevate without warning (Seagnat is a fixed "Chaff" launcher and can neither Train nor Elevate)

Care is to be taken on the Fo'c'sle, 4.5" may Train an Elephant without warning (!!!)

There are hundreds more like this no doubt - so bring 'em on
"Wren writer Mailie ships office"

"RS Cosworth muster on the jetty"

"PO Laris muster on the casing"

"RO Tate Radar Office"

"RO Bent muster in the builge"

"WEM Brant muster at the paint store"

"Anyone knowing the location of the PDO File report to the Master At Arms"

"For exercise, for exercise, for exercise, muster at the gym"

"The smell of burning is coming from the gally, their is no danger of nutrition"


War Hero
Book Reviewer
dustyjack said:
The person leaving the reindeer and sleigh on the hanger roof is to remove the same immediately (heard on the night of Xmas eve, HMS London 1987)

I was that OOD.......


Lantern Swinger
I was that Duty SA...Although I have to admit I was having a few social ones in the PO's mess at the time!
Whilst awaiting the Jimmy to allow secure on a Friday afternoon for over an hour prior to summer leave:

"D'ya hear there, Leave, Leave the starboard waist alone, wet camerex on deck" !


Lantern Swinger
Clubzzz " D'ya hear there. All outstanding ski's are to be returned to the ski store, NOW."

Supply Officer(believe it or not!) "D'ya hear there. Addition to last pipe. Average and below average ski's may also be returned to the ski store. That is all."
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