Games you played as a kid

#1
Strolling through my local supermarket the other day a saw a bag of Sports Mixtures what fun we had in Oinky's back bedroom on the council estate top game insert a Sports mixture up yer mates arse and he had to guess what it was ie
Cricket bat
Rugby ball
Tennis racket - ouch
Table tennis bat (always got confused with the last two)

Then imagine my surprise watching telly yesterday to discover they have now gone one better Animal mixtures what fcuking fun that would be guessing whether the jelly up your arse was either a :
Alligator
Camel
Snail
Rabbit - one for the ladies
Snake
Horse

Even more fun eating them afterwards. Wish I was 9 again
 
#6
stan_the_man said:
Strolling through my local supermarket the other day a saw a bag of Sports Mixtures what fun we had in Oinky's back bedroom on the council estate top game insert a Sports mixture up yer mates arse and he had to guess what it was ie
Cricket bat
Rugby ball
Tennis racket - ouch
Table tennis bat (always got confused with the last two)

Then imagine my surprise watching telly yesterday to discover they have now gone one better Animal mixtures what fcuking fun that would be guessing whether the jelly up your arse was either a :
Alligator
Camel
Snail
Rabbit - one for the ladies
Snake
Horse

Even more fun eating them afterwards. Wish I was 9 again


Fuckin good job some of the munters in this forum weren't your mates Stan, Christ knows what else you would have had up your arse, and when it came to eating it you would have had a man fat side soup. :D :oops: :wink:
 
#7
Yeah I managed to keep myself in check (almost) throughout my career now I'm a civvie me and the missus just love to experiment our current game is what veg is up yer arse I find the difference between a good Cornish courgette and the average supermarket cucumber hard to distinguish and peeling the carrot before insertion really confuses the fcuk out of me- give me a hampster up the chuff via a empty toilet tube any day.
FFS where you guys been??
 
#8
stan_the_man said:
Yeah I managed to keep myself in check (almost) throughout my career now I'm a civvie me and the missus just love to experiment our current game is what veg is up yer arse I find the difference between a good Cornish courgette and the average supermarket cucumber hard to distinguish and peeling the carrot before insertion really confuses the fcuk out of me- give me a hampster up the chuff via a empty toilet tube any day.
FFS where you guys been??
More of a Gerbil man myself
 
#10
There was this bloke who could tell what make of bread it was by having a slice shoved up his arse.
His oppo got really hacked off after trying Kingmill, Home Pride and Sunblest correctly. He shoved his cock up his arse and asked him what it was, his mate replied 'Champion'
 
#11
stan_the_man said:
Strolling through my local supermarket the other day a saw a bag of Sports Mixtures what fun we had in Oinky's back bedroom on the council estate top game insert a Sports mixture up yer mates arse and he had to guess what it was ie
Cricket bat
Rugby ball
Tennis racket - ouch
Table tennis bat (always got confused with the last two)

Then imagine my surprise watching telly yesterday to discover they have now gone one better Animal mixtures what fcuking fun that would be guessing whether the jelly up your arse was either a :
Alligator
Camel
Snail
Rabbit - one for the ladies
Snake
Horse

Even more fun eating them afterwards. Wish I was 9 again
Kin'ell. There was me playing with Meccano, Beta Builder (similar to Leggo), and a bag of marbles while you were stuffing cricket bats up your oppos arse. I don't think I missed out.
 
#12
Farm next door to us had this big wooden box they kept tools and stuff in, one day they erected a big fcuk off bench made out of old railway sleepers and slung all the tools on the bench,
''Can we have the old box mister''

''Corse yer can lads''

Me and our kid stripped the box down and decided to make a plane out of it, after much sawing and 6'' nailing we had our flying machine and took it down the pinfold for it's test flight.

Now this plane was a heavy bugger and we thought it best if we launched it together, running along puff pant we gave it an almighty throw into the air and were a tad miffed when it only 'flew' about a yard.

So I became a stoker and our kid joined the RCT.
 
#13
Drakey said:
stan_the_man said:
Strolling through my local supermarket the other day a saw a bag of Sports Mixtures what fun we had in Oinky's back bedroom on the council estate top game insert a Sports mixture up yer mates arse and he had to guess what it was ie
Cricket bat
Rugby ball
Tennis racket - ouch
Table tennis bat (always got confused with the last two)

Then imagine my surprise watching telly yesterday to discover they have now gone one better Animal mixtures what fcuking fun that would be guessing whether the jelly up your arse was either a :
Alligator
Camel
Snail
Rabbit - one for the ladies
Snake
Horse

Even more fun eating them afterwards. Wish I was 9 again
Kin'ell. There was me playing with Meccano, Beta Builder (similar to Leggo), and a bag of marbles while you were stuffing cricket bats up your oppos arse. I don't think I missed out.
Nah Drakey the young bitches got involved as well till one of em's big brothers caught us out checking out there muffs in a tent at the back of our house mind you fcuking mong bitch hadn't washed it for about a month at age 12 the fanny stunk like a well hung kipper stuffed with anchovies
 
#16
Setting fire to the local hay field was the norm and being a smart ass and returning to watch all the neighbours trying to save their back garden fence from the flames. Just harmless fun that kept us out of trouble.
 
#17
Backpacker1uk said:
Setting fire to the local hay field was the norm and being a smart ass and returning to watch all the neighbours trying to save their back garden fence from the flames. Just harmless fun that kept us out of trouble.

:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
 
#18
Topstop said:
Backpacker1uk said:
Setting fire to the local hay field was the norm and being a smart ass and returning to watch all the neighbours trying to save their back garden fence from the flames. Just harmless fun that kept us out of trouble.

:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
Not forgetting the time I was caught trespassing on the railways and fined ten bob. My father had to go to court and pay the fine he was furious!!!!!!!

That's it he shouted outside the court you now have a criminal record you will never find a job!!!!!!!! I was fourteen years old!!
 
#19
Here's a good one for November 5th.

(1). Take 1 x tin (Heinz bean tins are okay)
(2). Bash a small hole in the end that wasn't opened (i.e. the bottom)
(3). Take said tin into the garden and plunge the open end into the
earth.
(4). Pull tin out and remove plug of earth - leaving behind 1 tin-shaped hole in the ground.
(5). Shove tin back in hole and light 1 x banger
(6). Poke banger into tin via the hole you made
(7). Wait for small explosion and watch delightfully as tin soars into the stratosphere
(8). Your kids will love it.
(9). Use a good variety of banger to achieve maximum lift.
 
#20
BillyNoMates said:
Here's a good one for November 5th.

(1). Take 1 x tin (Heinz bean tins are okay)
(2). Bash a small hole in the end that wasn't opened (i.e. the bottom)
(3). Take said tin into the garden and plunge the open end into the
earth.
(4). Pull tin out and remove plug of earth - leaving behind 1 tin-shaped hole in the ground.
(5). Shove tin back in hole and light 1 x banger
(6). Poke banger into tin via the hole you made
(7). Wait for small explosion and watch delightfully as tin soars into the stratosphere
(8). Your kids will love it.
(9). Use a good variety of banger to achieve maximum lift.
Oh sh1te don't go stirring Whits up I'm trying to steer him away from pyrotechnics :)
 
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