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Funny questions you've been asked


War Hero
Super Moderator
Just shown some sea cadets around where I work and we have a Tomahawk on display. One of the female cadets was looking at it and said "I've never seen one so big, what does it taste like?". I bit my lip and just looked at her, she blushed, farted and said "What I meant was what does it feel like". By this time my lip was bleeding and I had to go for a cold shower and a lie down.

Anyone else got similar dits


War Hero
Was guide on HMS Victory back in '69 and was asked by a young lad, "Where's the engine room?"....
stumped me for a while!! :?


Lantern Swinger
Not exactly military but you'd be surprised at the number of septic tourists in Edinburgh who ask us what we do with the castle outside of the tourist season, as in, where do we put it...


War Hero
Book Reviewer
Can't remember whether it was onboard London or Euryalus, a visiting crab asking if the cab's blades had to be folded to put it away.


War Hero
A baby greenie at scran one night aboard Nottingham came out with this little beauty...

"Brigs, how do they make these baby sweetcorn so small, I always thought they were much bigger"

I nearly spat my roast beef all over the table and could not believe the twat was serious.


War Hero
Book Reviewer
On a school visit with a shiney red and grey rescue helicopter was asked where the machine gun was.

One of the lads at work asked if it was safe to lift a Seaking off a Queen Mary trailer by the rotor head. And he fixes the things. :roll:
Joint_Force_Harrier said:
How many pounds thrust a Harrier has? Every bloody air cadet asks that one! Stumped when you ask them Wet or Dry?

Ranks along side the question from one cavalry officer amongst a group of them who were being shown round the Harriers on 1 (F) Sqn in the early 80s, when the pilot who was showing them the aircraft mentioned the cannons, a bright spark rodney promptly asked " where does the gunner sit?" 8O
A japanese naval evaluation team when being shown the seaslug missile in its launcher, asked "where do you sit the pilot??


On instructing new TA recruits on the SA80, my brother was asked the infallible question by the token pin head;

'Can it kill a whale?'


hahaha loving the tower bridge one.

My friend Becca is going with a carpenter and when I was joking about with her the other night telling her how he'll try to nail her in the back of his van she replied "na it's probably filled with carpets."

I almost pissed myself


Lantern Swinger
Wreckerl - that's brilliant mate. Once worked with a lovely nubile youngster who was about to get engaged, and took me to the shop where she was buying the engagement ring. She turned sweetly to me and said: "Would you like to see my ring ??" Same reaction as you Wreckerl.....


War Hero
Super Moderator
Dicky said:
Wreckerl - that's brilliant mate. Once worked with a lovely nubile youngster who was about to get engaged, and took me to the shop where she was buying the engagement ring. She turned sweetly to me and said: "Would you like to see my ring ??" Same reaction as you Wreckerl.....



War Hero
We had a young girl in the office, tasked with organising a 'team building' summer BBQ. Said in a loud, clear voice, 'well, I fancy a spit-roast'! :oops:

Form a queue chaps! :lol: :lol: :lol:


War Hero
Fortunately in the Careers Offices & indeed on here, as a Careers Adviser, we never get asked daft questions.

Shame really....


War Hero
Prior to every medical procedure i always got the same.

"Will this hurt?"

Of course its going to fegging hurt!How the hell do we know if we have done it right??????


May I add these,

How long will the train to Edinburgh be?....................................................... About 800 feet
Which platform goes to Leeds?....................................................................The platform doesn't move

And finally my ex wife once asked if all RN ships came home for the weekends (I wish)
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