Funny as hell sayings?

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#61
Upon asking about todays menu:

CPO Ops (M): "What's for scran, chef?"
Chef: "Chicken Wings, Chops"
CPO Ops (M): "Wings, WINGS??? And it's Chief Ops M"
 
#66
At Wyton in the early 90's.

RAF Flt Lt cycling past us (Crabs salute officers on bikes) and us Matelots ignored him as usual,

"Complement Gentlemen" he was heard to say.

"Nice Bike sir" was the reply!

Our Navy Eng O could not keep a straight face when trying to bollock us next day.
 

drewfester

Lantern Swinger
#68
"Stand still!! You dog's dick!!!"
Heard throughout HMS Raliegh in July 1991 whenever colours was piped
Utterred by a certain POMEM C%$£"!! B^&**%$
Nice bloke but will name
 
#69
WreckerL said:
SONAR-BENDER said:
Senior Rate to smart ass baby orifice:
I'm not allowed to call you a ********, am I?
No Chief, you certainly are not!
But I'm allowed to THINK you are a ********, am I not?
Silence, while the cogs turn, then 'I suppose not'
Ok Sir, ................ :lol: :lol: :lol:
Not wishing to blackcat but I've actually done that only I used the word cnut. Had to formally apologise later though. Even worse he turned up as my MEO a few years later and he remembered (he was still a cnut though)

Har di har!!!!!!! Wonder if you were ever a Wrecker L with me!!!
 
#71
It was like throwing yer kitbag through the dockyard gate.

(When discussing the internal dimensions of a ladys anatomy after a night of passion)
 
#73
BUMP, here are a few more to revive this thread, FWTAW:
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Useful for thrapping down stroppy ODs, (pre-1971):

‘There are just two things I hate about the Royal Navy.’

‘Oh? What are they then, badges?’

‘Short Tots and cheeky Kids; and it’s not Up Spirits yet.’

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Also pre-1971

‘I said SIPPERS (A small, gentlemanly sip from a friend's rum issue), Not ******* Hands to Bathe!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


True Dit. Scene - Rolling wildly during a lumpy surface passage.

NAV: (After calling out the periscope bearings) ‘PO, Where does that fix put us now?’

POOW: (Recovering from a quick huey over the chart table, sweeps the result to one side) ‘There, Sir. Right between the peas & the carrots.


~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Whaler Pulling Regatta – Words of inspiration shouted by the Cox’n from the steering stick (Rudder):

‘PULL – Like you are pulling a ******* (Deleted = Now Ethnically & Politically Incorrect) off of your sister!!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

‘Flog him until he is dead, Mr Christian!’

‘He’s dead now, sir’

‘Well Flog his kit then!’

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Are there any more decent sayings out there somewhere?
 
#74
I was fending ships off dockyard walls when you were fending yer pram off shop windows.

Pipe." Do you here there, Those who have not done so and wish to do so may do so now outside the ships office"
 
#76
Some 'kin PO at the top of his voice, too early every morning, stomping past my bunk at Raleigh xx years ago -

All the hands 'eave ho, 'eave ho, 'eave ho,
Lash up 'n' stow,
Hands off c0cks, on socks.
Not that any of you useless poofs have got any c0cks..

That means YOU xxxxxxx.
 
#77
My mouth feels like a Japanese wrestlers jockstrap!

Don't come running to me with a broken leg!

I can say what I want to Sir long as I finish with Sir. You are a useless **** Sir!

PJI on para course. Now lads no hanging about outside that door when you go!


He would talk a glass eye to sleep!

DL facing forward pointing with left arm. "Left turn" It took many press ups for a few to ignore that sham.
 
#78
Submariner walking past a crusher at DOLPHIN/Faslane/Guzz:
"That your best hat, lad ?"
"Nah, got me working hat down the boat, mate".
Always seemed to upset 'em for some reason ???
 
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