Fuckin twats.

#1
So there I am leggin it down the canal side, minding my own business having a jog.
OK so a very fast walk, well fast...ish.
Taking Stirling's advice not to punch air as I progress, thus avoiding the provocative stance, I keep my arms by my side when passing two youths.
"Whats up with you? are you a fuckin spastic" asks one politely.
"Fuck off".. I retort equally elegantly.
"I'll nail the lid on your fuckin coffin" says my new friend.
"You couldn't fuckin lift it" I reply as I jog on.
Two minutes later the twats are up to me on what pass as bikes, strange looking objects with negative saddles.
Not watching what I am doing I suddenly stagger sideways and oops, one of my bestest friends falls in the cut.
"Oh dear" I say and stop dead .
My second bestest fried also has to stop now and gravity takes over from inertia when stopping suddenly, and he sat down. Oh dear I felt his pain. I would have been more sympathetic had I have been able to stop laughing.
I just wish his trousers had given way, he would have received about 6 or 7 inches of chrome plated tubing up his tea towel holder.
Shame about that, fuckin Paki's making trollies too well.:slow::slow:
 
#6
Funny thing is someone nicked the saddle off my bike and to cap it all off, as I was carefully pedalling home, this old geezer stinking of rum and muttering about hammocks and cotton picking went and pushed me off my bike.

Coincidence or what!
 
#7
Funny thing is someone nicked the saddle off my bike and to cap it all off, as I was carefully pedaling home, this old geezer stinking of rum and muttering about hammocks and cotton picking went and pushed me off my bike.

Coincidence or what!
Way I heard it was some chav fell in the cut, and an old bastard with shaved head ( yeah right) and a janner accent fucked off with his bike shouting something about ebay.
The victim was found to have severe head injuries consistent to being clubbed with an object made from meat encrusted in pastry.
A sober and reliable hansom passer by testified that the assailant was sallow looking pasty faced ( not pastie) and was desperately trying to avoid the sunlight. He peddled off in a southerly direction shouting something about avoiding train lines and someones brother.:laughing2:
 
#8
Funny thing is someone nicked the saddle off my bike and to cap it all off, as I was carefully pedalling home, this old geezer stinking of rum and muttering about hammocks and cotton picking went and pushed me off my bike.

Coincidence or what!
Way I heard it was some chav fell in the cut, and an old bastard with shaved head ( yeah right) and a janner accent fucked off with his bike shouting something about ebay.
The victim was found to have severe head injuries consistent to being clubbed with an object made from meat encrusted in pastry.
A sober and reliable hansom passer by testified that the assailant was sallow looking pasty faced ( not pastie) and was desperately trying to avoid the sunlight. He peddled off in a southerly direction shouting something about avoiding train lines and someones brother.:laughing2:
I was luckier than my mate (he also had his saddle nicked). He slammed the anchors on and ended up with 1/2" steel suppository. He never falls off his bike now though.
 
#12
Shame about that, fuckin Paki's making trollies too well.:slow::slow:
I am going to tell Mr Levers the teacher that you wrote naughty words on the blackboard, and don't threaten to duff me up cos I'll tell me elder brothers and they will give you a chinese burn and twist your ear
 
#14
So, Rummers remind me again why you got stabbed....:pr:

Well there must have been a chink in my armour. And the slit eyed fucker opened the door and let the blade in.:laughing2:

No42 please with fried rice.

Edited to say:- As the bastard run away he was heard to be shouting " I got that fuckin Blubby" or something similar.:pottytrain2::-D
 
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