FU* K OFF OLD PI*S STAINED TO*SERS

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I get up in the middle of the night for another pee, and find some young know-it-all who doesn't know me from Adam insulting me.

I suspect someone may have had a touch too much to drink tonight.

As I check the map of Africa, I wonder if he does know something after all.

 

That's right dickwad. Only the smell isn't of piss as such. It's of pensions and payment. F*ck off outside yourself, you failed excuse for a matelot. You must feel dead proud that some complete wankers got their hooks and you didn't. Shame. Civvy street will bring you everything you want, including poverty.

Levers

 

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 2 bites already!

 

Anger Management courses all round methinks!!
Mr Stinky Piss Stain of NZ

 

Two?

Has someone deleted theirs then?

 

I didnt realise I smelt that bad.

Matron,I need a bottle!

 

Hello Faslane, has the berg melted yet?





Nutty (urine stained smelly old fart part of the joys of serving on a proper T Boat not an atomic kettle)

 

100 year old Twins

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke's Nursing Home and the editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin biddies.
One of the twins was hard of hearing but the other could hear quite well.
The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa.
The deaf one said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other.
"Now get a little closer together", said the cameraman.
Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE".
So, they wiggled up close to each other.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer.
Yet again - "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!"
With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US?

OLD FARTS SONG QUIZ FROM THE SIXTIES
First prize for the winner ZIMMER SATNAV for those old fart amnesia moments.



Question Number: 1
Question: Do You Wanna Dance?
Elvis Presley
The Beatles
The Beach Boys
The Lovin' Spoonful
Question Number: 2
Question: Do You Believe in Magic?
Elvis Presley
The Beatles
The Beach Boys
The Lovin' Spoonful
Question Number: 3
Question: I Hear a Symphony
The Supremes
Sonny & Cher
The Rolling Stones
The Four Tops
Question Number: 4
Question: Like a Rolling Stone
The Turtles
The Rolling Stones
Bob Dylan
Bobby Vinton
Question Number: 5
Question: Downtown
Petula Clark
Petuna Clarkson
Cher
Cherry Red
Question Number: 6
Question: In the Midnight Hour
Wilson Pickett
Roger Miller
Sam the Sham & The Pharaohs
Buck Owens
Question Number: 7
Question: I'm Henry VIII I Am
Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels
Herman's Hermits
The Beau Brummels
Paul Revere & the Raiders
Question Number: 8
Question: I Got You Babe
Sonny & Cher
The Yardbirds
The Supremes
Perry Como

 

Wah! :w00t:

 

Hey skinny - you forgot to mention our T-Shirt collection

 

Not quite the way I would have put it but I know where your coming from. Finknottle in particular comes across as a lonely bitter old cnut with fcuk all good to say about anyone or anything. Is that a little more eloquent?

I read somewhere that this bloke said that our female colleagues may be serving but haven't been tested? Plenty in Afghanistan have had there fair share of near misses shipmate and they crack on with it.

In summary, I agree, go and fcuk yourselves.

 

Matron says that not only do i smell but my brain is always in neutral, unable really to focus on anything intelligent, fortunately i am able to understand this post, erm what was it again, something about an unofficial site? Or as usual have i misinterpeted something?.

Confused

Garstang

 

M-L-P

I think you will find that he meant on a RN ship at sea. No RN ship, to the publics knowledge,
has received any kind of serious incoming fire since 1982. With the resultant serious
damage and casualties. Then had to deal with the situation whist others
were fighting the ship or involved with their own damage and casualties .

When I last looked a few hundred miles Iran and Pakistan separated Afghanistan from the sea.

Let us not take statements out of context.

Nutty

 

Nutty, I'm aware of that having spent a bit of time there myself. He's still a cnut though.

 

[quoteSniff Sniff,,,you sink of pi*s. :cya:[/quote]

Sink of Piss? Now your talking

I remember in the good old days, before some of young scallywags were born, me and an oppo were duty hands while the ship was in dry dock.
In the morning we had to move two dustbins full of the nights piss to the jetty, as the heads could not be used. Real piss sinks I'd say.

Any road up, with me in the lead we were taking the bins up the ladder to the quarterdeck, when my oppo says to me "Gombear" he says " My mum thinks I ve got a good job". I laughed so much that the bin spilled most of its's contents all over him.

Now he really did stink of piss. I dunno, you young'ns today.

Where's my bed pan nurse?

 

M-L-P

Well we will not know until it all goes badly wrong. I tend to be, as I have stated before, that lady sailors are OK
on boats where penetration of the pressure hull results in a sinking in all but about .0001% of cases.
There is nothing on a boat that a lady cannot do equally well as a man.

Surface units taking extensive and multiple damage, where unlike collisions, fires and groundings
in peace time, they cannot call on assistance from other parts of the ship and multiple crew members,
I suspect the lady sailors may not, if only because of the lack of sheer brute strength, cope.

Then if he is a cnut for that then I suppose I must also be.

Nutty

 

It seems too full of young turks spouting about things they are too young to understand or simply don't really know anything about or too inclined to engage mouth before brain. You were saying Witsend... :twisted:

I think it was, with hindsight, a mistake to replace the rank of Junior with AB. At least we'd know that the wisdom of yoof was spouting from the mouth of something rather shallow. Stand fast Junior Turk Witsendy!

PS: Don't include us liberals in your spouting Witsendy or I'll tell your mummy that you've been rude and showed disrespect to the elders and (often) betters. Stand fast Finknottle! :biggrin:

 

With age comes Wisdom

With Wisdom comes Strength.

Now where have I heard that before?

 

But would have joined had you been a wise old turk at 15? :lol: