Here I am, following the instructions to the letter of recreating naval life in a pusser's war canoe: lying on the floor in my kitchen in a sleeping bag in wet No.8s (no.4s to noobs) with my semaphore flags stuffed down my trousers, the lawnmower Blair-ing away in the background and my neighbours screaming in me ears to shut the fcuk up, and then I discover a thief in the Mess! :evil: Before turning in I left my Nutty on the table to enjoy with my cornflakes for brekkers. I get up to go to the heads to drain away the excess kidney processed beer fluids, and when I get back, what do I find? Someone's pinched Nutty? Was he pinched hard? Is there a Nutty baron in the mess who needs cobbing with a rolled up Admiralty chart? Has Higgy gone too far and kid-napped the ancient submariner? Who knows! There's a reward on offer here. I'll share my Friday tot, Wrecky (my bedwarmer) and Tally (my bedwarmer's companion) with whoever solves the mystery of the missing Nutty.