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Rumrat

War Hero
Sumo stood at heavens gate, cap in hand and praying,
That god would check the sheet and find the poor twat would be staying.
Alas, the verdict came at last and after a silent spell,
Saint Peter started laughing, and told him "go to hell".

Dejected worried and crying Sumo turned around,
Shoulders drooped and slouching he started his way down.
Fuckin hell I'm doomed he wailed, what did I fuckin do,
To send me down the slippery slope and drop me in the poo.

Just then as he descended he met Rumrat on the rise,
He stopped dead in his tracks and stared, this was a real surprise.
You wont get in he sneered at rat, they told me on my bike,
So you are fucked, you wont get in, your not the type they like.

I think you full of shit said rat I fit the profile neatly,
I'm black suppressed and poor as well I fit the bill completely.
Well so am I poor Sumo cried, I'm all those things as well,
Ok not black but real browned off, but still been sent to hell.

I can explain that rat replied its not a random thing,
There's reason why they banned you from living with the "King",
I'll try to sit and tell you though it may make you pissed,
And might take quite a time as well, it is a real long list.

Go ahead groaned Sumo, I've fuck all else to do,
I'm fucked for all eternity what placed me in the poo?
Its simple then the rat replied, I'll take the time to say,
Why Peter pulled the rug on you and told you go away.

Go away said Sumo, more like just "Fuck off"
Don't believe a word said rat Saint Peter is a toff,
Maybe to you said Sumo to me he's a common twat,
No wonder you got banned said Rat with an attitude like that.

You was a submariner, the beginning of your trouble,
The only lower form of life, would be a fuckin bubble,
Add to that your ugly, and a hardliner to boot,
the type that all us decent folk would really like to shoot.

Your cross eyes do not help you, your buck teeth stand out proud,
You nasty and a racist, your opinions are all loud,
You spend too much time loafing, neglecting all your chores,
And never sort the fuckin shed although the bastards yours.

Your forever bitching at rumrat, and picking on poor froggy,
You call him a dumb bubble head, and you say that rumrats woggy,
I cant help it being black its just a state of mind,
So give up drinking fuckin meths and try to be more kind.

Will it get me in then said Sumo looking sly,
cus I can be much better I know that I will try,
Don't get your fuckin hopes up said rumrat his eyes narrowed to a slit.
The main reason that he banned you, is that you're full of shit.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Get the whiskey out and dig in its Friday.
And Sumo said that's special.
Personally I think that's a crock of shit every days a party day.

'Tis for me, I'm off down the pub now. No talking about me behind my back!!
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Thought you were own the pub out of earshot???

Your a diver, not the quietest of natures creations and I ended up talking to a commercial deep sea diver who lives down the road. You buggers get everywhere.

And I wish I had been barred, too many Doom Bars do not make a good morning.
 
Your a diver, not the quietest of natures creations and I ended up talking to a commercial deep sea diver who lives down the road. You buggers get everywhere.

And I wish I had been barred, too many Doom Bars do not make a good morning.

Mmmm, Doom Bars. I'm off to the offy after your timely reminder.
Might get Rumrat a couple of Snowballs as its his favourite tipple.
 
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