Fortune Telling Machine

The_Caretaker

War Hero
Bob walks up to his best friend and tells him that he is having a major problem with his elbow. His friend tells him to go to the mall and there will be a fortune telling machine there. All you have to do is put five dollars in it and it will make noises and flash lights and tell you whats wrong.

So Bob gives it a shot. He goes to the mall inserts the money and it makes noises and lights start to flash. Then a urine cup pops out of it and, he goes and pisses in the cup. Then he dumps it in the machine. It coughs out a piece of paper, reading: you have tennis elbow, refrain from hard work and ice your elbow.

Well Bob is pretty amazed but he wonders if it can be fooled. So he puts another five dollars in it and it spits out a cup. Except this time he takes the cup home and puts in his wife's pussy juices, his dogs poop, tap water, his daughters piss, along with some cum from him.

The next day he goes to the mall and dumps the mixture in the machine. It coughs out a piece of paper, that reads: Your wife is cheating, get a divorce... Your dog has worms, get him vitamins... You have hard water, get a softner...ur daughter is pregnant, get her counseling.. And if you don't quit jacking off your tennis elbow will never get better.
 
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