Form an orderly queue you lucky bitches

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by cúnt, Jul 26, 2011.

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  1. Apparently I'm likely to lose my bollocks where I'm going, so some kind soul in the MoD has offered to freeze my spunk, and not just to make a bukkake lolly.

    I'm currently single, so I'm offering my man-fat to the highest bidder.

    If you're fit, it's free and you don't need to spring for a baster.

    In you own time. . .
     
  2. I'll have some. BSN protein shakes cost me a fortune.
     
  3. This offer is instead of, not in addition to the spunk I already send you.
     
  4. I could do with some wallpaper paste, I take it you are full of sperm as opposed to shit.
     
  5. The jury is out on that one mate, but either one sticks to the wall.
     
  6. Jiz smells sweeter than shite so get some female with 'golf ball sucked through hosepipe' abilities to empty your sack a few times.
     
  7. Hence this thread. . .
     
  8. mmmmm...been told recently that my load tastes like chocolate :-D..I put it down to the fact I have been indulging in more than a few chocolate brownies of late.....Mmmmmm

    Is it not just ace when you get a double bonus....and her a 'chocoholic'.....:toothy2:
     
  9. Just a thought Cúnt, but if you have your bollocks surgically removed before you go and leave them in a safe place at home you won't have lost them so you'll be alright.

    If they can sew arms, legs and even faces back on these days so re-inserting your goolies should be a piece of pish.

    No need to thank me, I was watching Blackadder Goes Forth and Baldrick carving his name on a bullet so he would never get shot as he had the bullet with his name on it in his pocket. That gave me the idea so Baldricks cunning plan would work for you as well.

    (Although he got shot in the end but that's a technicality).
     
  10. You're a genius! I don't get to the doctors that often, so I'll have a crack at it myself.
     
  11. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I heard from Jenny_Dabber that you were a jaffa anyway... :shock:
     
  12. So Cunto is going to be either a Phalanx maintainer or a submariner.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. He's not classy enough to ever be a matelot. The Army can keep him and his shell scrape dwelling ways.
     
  14. Cornwall. That is all.
     
  15. If im the highest bidder, will you make the delivery to my face in person??
     
  16. Touché monsieur pussycat.
     
  17. Only if you are fit and female. I'll suck you off for a sour haribo though.
     
  18. Careful, you'll have Sussex and Typr42stoker fighting to get in front of you.
     
  19. and Scouser Cludgy, she could do with a wash. .:brushteeth:
     
  20. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    It's the safest place to be. He couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo.
     

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