Forced to watch X Factor

#21
labrum said:
The man's a genius, we wouldn't have gone into Iraq with him at the helm
He definitely is a genius - that's what's so annoying. He's made millions out of people who think they can sing, and from people who 'phone up to vote!
 
#24
I'd do the same as Blackrat but a bit worse.

Imagination has never been my strong point.

Calling him a genius is like calling Hitler misunderstood.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#28
And what the fuck is going on with his trousers? His kecks must be so far up his hoop that his gusset is tickling his adams apple.
 
#29
Blackrat said:
And what the fuck is going on with his trousers? His kecks must be so far up his hoop that his gusset is tickling his adams apple.
Probably silk, would go up quite well once you had administered the Napalm.
 
#30
Wow, I just did a Google search for Simon Cowell is a cvnt (replaced the v with a u obviously) and got:

"Results 1 - 10 of about 498,000 for simon cowell is a c*nt. (0.29 seconds)"

So it's not just me then.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#31
Sterling_Stirling said:
Blackrat said:
And what the fuck is going on with his trousers? His kecks must be so far up his hoop that his gusset is tickling his adams apple.
Probably silk, would go up quite well once you had administered the Napalm.
Sterling old chap, i wouldn't lube up Cowell's ricker with napalm, it would be with deep heat containing an added mixture of crushed jalepeno peppers and chillis thrust up there with a cannon swab circa 1815, handed down from the museum of Artillery.
 
#32
Blackrat said:
Sterling_Stirling said:
Blackrat said:
And what the fuck is going on with his trousers? His kecks must be so far up his hoop that his gusset is tickling his adams apple.
Probably silk, would go up quite well once you had administered the Napalm.
Sterling old chap, i wouldn't lube up Cowell's ricker with napalm, it would be with deep heat containing an added mixture of crushed jalepeno peppers and chillis thrust up there with a cannon swab circa 1815, handed down from the museum of Artillery.
I said this when you first joined the site and I will ask again..........

Can I be your Wingman ?.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#33
Sterling_Stirling said:
Blackrat said:
Sterling_Stirling said:
Blackrat said:
And what the fuck is going on with his trousers? His kecks must be so far up his hoop that his gusset is tickling his adams apple.
Probably silk, would go up quite well once you had administered the Napalm.
Sterling old chap, i wouldn't lube up Cowell's ricker with napalm, it would be with deep heat containing an added mixture of crushed jalepeno peppers and chillis thrust up there with a cannon swab circa 1815, handed down from the museum of Artillery.
I said this when you first joined the site and I will ask again..........

Can I be your Wingman ?.
I would deem it an honour old chap.
 
#34
Blackrat said:
TattooDog said:
I can't believe people are actually voting for this sh1te . .

Let's see - to vote, you call a premium rate line that gives Cowell money. Whoever wins gets a contract with Cowell that earns him even more money. And ITV are paying him to do it. And the sponsors are paying him.

And still, people are calling in to vote. . . .

Fvcking daft cvnts.

Especially my missus who is also calling her mates to vote too . . . :x
Is it me or is Simon Cowell an utter cock?
Tough call that one.
Now lets see, he has millions in the bank, can shag anything he wants at anytime or place.
Now what was the question, ah yes...............I can't decide. :roll: :wink: :D
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#36
Who the hell is Joe? In fact, who the hell are these people? Didn't some fat howler win one of these competitions once? What happened to her? So many questions. I'm off to beat up my miserable neighbour....
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
#37
R077 said:
It's freezing outside and in the bedroom because the heating's sh!t so can't evac. I'm on my laptop with the X Factor blaring in the background, listening to that kiddy-fiddling nonce with the child-seducing twinkling nonce eyes that cops can spot a mile off gushing pails of sh!te about these pawns and their wailing.

Gawd, now that buzz-cut middle-age women's man Cowell is starting his self-serving righteous pious crap. At least that demented Aussie dwarf and Cilla Black Mk2 minus the class have shut it for a bit.

'sake, no wonder domestic abuse is on the increase this season :x

Now they're all crying for some reason!! My Dad would laugh in my face and kick my head in if I started bawing like that. Pass ma shuvel, I'm going to the live show to cave them in.
I just don't understand what is wrong with the yoof of today. This was posted at 8:37pm on a Saturday night. WTF is wrong with the PUB. If your doris/biord wants to watch this crap fine - get your arrse to an X Factor free zone - i.e. the PUB. If your local is the sort of place that puts this shoite on in the public bar then the only solution is to firebomb the place and find a decent boozer. IMHO.
 

pinkprincess

Lantern Swinger
#38
Forced?

I can hear it now: *cough-mutter-mumble, she made me watch it*

You are grown men. Man up!

If the missus wants to watch it and you don't, find something else to do or tell her to record it.

All the lads on my old shop floor used to say the same thing: "er, the missus was watching it..." and then they would discuss Big-Celebrity-X-Dancing-Swap-On ice with the passion that they would talk about a footie match.

Just admit that you love that trash :lol: :wink:
 

Top