For Dog Lovers

ive asked it 20 times to sign my M & M chit but it bloody ignores me - just like my boss i suppose.

oh well - at least i have got ebay to look at

oh shit, just isnt my day
 
There's hope yet... apparently DOG lovers outlive CAT lovers (break it gently to Rosie please Hig) according to recent research reported by BBC Online...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6279701.stm

Now I must ring up Mugabe and tell him, then he might change his negative views about "dogs" and introduce a new policy: Adopt a Gay (aka: dog) for a long and Healthy Life :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol: :twisted: If he tries to adopt me I bite his hand off! :evil:

PS: Don't tell any Romanian MEPs I've written this or I'll be impaled on a stake...
 

UncleAlbert

War Hero
You can`t beat real dogs, a friend for life and they don`t answer back, I`ve had a few…. I remember as a kid my first got shot for sheep chasing, then a Jack Russell that replaced him tried to mate with a Staffie, came to a sticky end… then one that loved to chase cars, lasted about 2 weeks… had two who had to be put down… one went for the postwoman and the other for one of the dustmen… Had a great little Jack Russell who only had three legs (we called him tripod) he loved to curl up to a warm tyre, that’s why he had the three legs and why he eventually got squished…. I had one poisoned by a neighbour…. We lost so many that we ran out of garden space so dad started chucking them in the canal, it wasn’t very nice but none of them ever complained…. One we had was a runt who hated humans he would attack anything that moved, dad gave him to Uncle Charlie, (whom he didn’t like) but I don’t think he lasted long… We only ever had one really nice dog that had a habit of going up to strangers and licking them on the bum. He got pinched by someone when we were on holiday…. We had one die from obesity after someone told the missus that food stops them barking and another that got electrocuted while the kids were giving him a bath (don`t ask)…. In fact the kids put paid to three in all, another they microwaved cos he was shivering and another they tied a firecracker to his tail, unfortunately he got run over by a motorbike he was overtaking.
The one we have at the moment is being trained by my daughter to not eat anything.
He`s not looking very well.



….
 
UncleAlbert said:
You can`t beat real dogs, a friend for life and they don`t answer back, I`ve had a few…. I remember as a kid my first got shot for sheep chasing, then a Jack Russell that replaced him tried to mate with a Staffie, came to a sticky end… then one that loved to chase cars, lasted about 2 weeks… had two who had to be put down… one went for the postwoman and the other for one of the dustmen… Had a great little Jack Russell who only had three legs (we called him tripod) he loved to curl up to a warm tyre, that’s why he had the three legs and why he eventually got squished…. I had one poisoned by a neighbour…. We lost so many that we ran out of garden space so dad started chucking them in the canal, it wasn’t very nice but none of them ever complained…. One we had was a runt who hated humans he would attack anything that moved, dad gave him to Uncle Charlie, (whom he didn’t like) but I don’t think he lasted long… We only ever had one really nice dog that had a habit of going up to strangers and licking them on the bum. He got pinched by someone when we were on holiday…. We had one die from obesity after someone told the missus that food stops them barking and another that got electrocuted while the kids were giving him a bath (don`t ask)…. In fact the kids put paid to three in all, another they microwaved cos he was shivering and another they tied a firecracker to his tail, unfortunately he got run over by a motorbike he was overtaking.
The one we have at the moment is being trained by my daughter to not eat anything.
He`s not looking very well.



….
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Black humour aside, our next door neighbour's ginger tom had three legs: they called him Eddie, I called him (affectionately) Tripod.
 

slim

War Hero
UncleAlbert said:
You can`t beat real dogs, a friend for life and they don`t answer back, I`ve had a few…. I remember as a kid my first got shot for sheep chasing, then a Jack Russell that replaced him tried to mate with a Staffie, came to a sticky end… then one that loved to chase cars, lasted about 2 weeks… had two who had to be put down… one went for the postwoman and the other for one of the dustmen… Had a great little Jack Russell who only had three legs (we called him tripod) he loved to curl up to a warm tyre, that’s why he had the three legs and why he eventually got squished…. I had one poisoned by a neighbour…. We lost so many that we ran out of garden space so dad started chucking them in the canal, it wasn’t very nice but none of them ever complained…. One we had was a runt who hated humans he would attack anything that moved, dad gave him to Uncle Charlie, (whom he didn’t like) but I don’t think he lasted long… We only ever had one really nice dog that had a habit of going up to strangers and licking them on the bum. He got pinched by someone when we were on holiday…. We had one die from obesity after someone told the missus that food stops them barking and another that got electrocuted while the kids were giving him a bath (don`t ask)…. In fact the kids put paid to three in all, another they microwaved cos he was shivering and another they tied a firecracker to his tail, unfortunately he got run over by a motorbike he was overtaking.
The one we have at the moment is being trained by my daughter to not eat anything.
He`s not looking very well.



….
Not very lucky with dogs then Uncle A.
 

mikh

MIA
I was going to agree with Slim, then changed my mind, its not the Uncle Albert is unlucky with dogs, it that DOGS are unlucky with Uncle Albert AKA Dogs Bane, The Canine Nemisis.
 

slim

War Hero
Reminds me of the old advert for a lost dog:

Black and white dog, blind in one eys, torn left ear, missing left front leg, recently castrated. Answere to the name of LUCKY.
 
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