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Football Alternatives

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Like the next bloke and some girlies, i like football. I like the world cup. It's fucking great. But like most on here, i hate the chavery that goes along with any game England play or in fact ANY game that is played. This is because the chavs are out like rats and the press are utter cunts.

To combat this, i think we should have some alternatives to the beautiful game. I have purchased Mrs Blackrat a tacky porn outfit from the local sex shop and am trying to coax her into wearing it. Wine is a great persuader. I'm then going to get her to treat me like shit and punch my parts till they go off. For tonight, the world cup can get fucked.

Any other suggestions?
 

Guzzler

War Hero
A video link would be nice.

I'm sort of indulging in half-interest and multi-tasking.

Currently enjoying a rather splendid moussaka, not enjoying the wee-wee porn merchants stuff the convicts, and reading about the Hundred Years' War.

Did you know it wasn't a hundred years?

Just 57 minutes.
 
W

white_mafia

Guest
Blackrat said:
Like the next bloke and some girlies, i like football. I like the world cup. It's fucking great. But like most on here, i hate the chavery that goes along with any game England play or in fact ANY game that is played. This is because the chavs are out like rats and the press are utter cunts.

To combat this, i think we should have some alternatives to the beautiful game. I have purchased Mrs Blackrat a tacky porn outfit from the local sex shop and am trying to coax her into wearing it. Wine is a great persuader. I'm then going to get her to treat me like shit and punch my parts till they go off. For tonight, the world cup can get fucked.

Any other suggestions?

Having coaxed her into getting the kit on, it would seem a shame not to set the vid camera on a tripod, for later uploading to youtube with appropriate link for us slavering perverts.

Wine is indeed a great persuader. The male thinks he is Ron Jeremy, while trying to muster a lazy, while the female, being prone to the great goddess Hormone, could turn up in one of a dozen guises...not all of them pleasant.
_________________
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
I think tonight i am going to post dog shit through my neigbours letterbox and wait for him to run after me, right up to where i've strung piano wire across the pavement at neck height. That'll teach him for letting his excuse of a hound curl one out in my drive.
 

JW7121

Lantern Swinger
hamisatypeofcheese said:
I've splashed out on Sky Sports so I can watch some Rugby in the midst of all this football/gymnastic diving.

Shame about the result on Saturday morning!
 

hamisatypeofcheese

Lantern Swinger
Being an impartial spectator I wasn't too bothered :wink:

Worried for Wales against New Zealand though as we are missing both of our most dangerous players :cry:
 

JW7121

Lantern Swinger
hamisatypeofcheese said:
Being an impartial spectator I wasn't too bothered :wink:

Worried for Wales against New Zealand though as we are missing both of our most dangerous players :cry:

Don't fancy the Welsh chances much after the spanking Ireland got...
 

hamisatypeofcheese

Lantern Swinger
JW7121 said:
hamisatypeofcheese said:
Being an impartial spectator I wasn't too bothered :wink:

Worried for Wales against New Zealand though as we are missing both of our most dangerous players :cry:

Don't fancy the Welsh chances much after the spanking Ireland got...

Hope will set you free and all that :wink:

Hopefully we won't play with 14 men for the majority of the game though.
 

JW7121

Lantern Swinger
hamisatypeofcheese said:
JW7121 said:
hamisatypeofcheese said:
Being an impartial spectator I wasn't too bothered :wink:

Worried for Wales against New Zealand though as we are missing both of our most dangerous players :cry:

Don't fancy the Welsh chances much after the spanking Ireland got...

Hope will set you free and all that :wink:

Hopefully we won't play with 14 men for the majority of the game though.

True, that certainly did put Ireland at a massive disadvantage, and they did go down to 13 men for 10 mins with O'Gara's sin bin, but to concede 66 points. Don't think the Welsh will be defeated as heavily as that, but can't see any outcome other than an All Black win.

I don't think England will fare any better in the second test either, they are sh*te at the moment.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
You see? It's not all football. This evening i may well dress as a Hauptsturmfuhrer from the SS Division Das Reich and goose step up and down the high street screaming "Untermensch" at the top of my voice.
 
W

white_mafia

Guest
Blackrat said:
You see? It's not all football. This evening i may well dress as a Hauptsturmfuhrer from the SS Division Das Reich and goose step up and down the high street screaming "Untermensch" at the top of my voice.

I believe your reputation demands at least the uniform of the Waffen-Grenadier-Division der SS, who apparently were the worst of the murderous thugs and sociopaths that made up the SS.

Apart from Reinhard Heydrich of course who was a pussycat and devoted family man.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
white_mafia said:
Blackrat said:
You see? It's not all football. This evening i may well dress as a Hauptsturmfuhrer from the SS Division Das Reich and goose step up and down the high street screaming "Untermensch" at the top of my voice.

I believe your reputation demands at least the uniform of the Waffen-Grenadier-Division der SS, who apparently were the worst of the murderous thugs and sociopaths that made up the SS.

Apart from Reinhard Heydrich of course who was a pussycat and devoted family man.

It has to be Das Reich as Sepp Deitrich was the boss of them for a while, and he was nails.

Heydrich was also an accomplished violinist, pianist and an Olympic fencer. As well as being head of the RSHA/SD. Makes you wonder where he got the time to be such a cunt.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Blackrat said:
white_mafia said:
Blackrat said:
You see? It's not all football. This evening i may well dress as a Hauptsturmfuhrer from the SS Division Das Reich and goose step up and down the high street screaming "Untermensch" at the top of my voice.

I believe your reputation demands at least the uniform of the Waffen-Grenadier-Division der SS, who apparently were the worst of the murderous thugs and sociopaths that made up the SS.

Apart from Reinhard Heydrich of course who was a pussycat and devoted family man.

It has to be Das Reich as Sepp Deitrich was the boss of them for a while, and he was nails.

Heydrich was also an accomplished violinist, pianist and an Olympic fencer. As well as being head of the RSHA/SD. Makes you wonder where he got the time to be such a cunt.

I think JJ should accompany you suitably attired as Adolf Eichmann
 
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