following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz thread...

sweeney

Lantern Swinger
#1
did anybody watch that "strangest hotel in britain" thing on telly last night? It was like rum ration on film... Wrong, but very very funny. getting deacons to run a hotel is a stroke of genius!

classic lines were:

1) I love lasagne but it gets in my facial hair
2) Today I am going to a theme park, so I am wearing my argyll and sutherland highlanders tartan blazer.
3) I want to marry a girl from polynesia (Deacon then begins a hawaiian dance).

The 2 senior handlers were called the hinge and bracket of special needs. Genius. If you missed it here is some footage off youtube. Feck me it was funny!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-Eft90VGFQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DmL98ruBbg
 
#3
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

It was fucking quality.

That Sophie was an idle bitch wasn't she, fucking sloping off left right and charlie. She had more time off then Michael Ryan's safety catch.

They stick programmes like this and the one about Teenage Tourette's Camp on under the guise of 'documentary' but we all know that it's light entertainment really.

It's the modern equivalent of Bedlam.
 

sweeney

Lantern Swinger
#4
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

any program that has the narrator using the words "special needs" is a piss take. Next tiem it comes on I'm video-ing the fucker.
 
#6
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

Yes I can see it now.....

"And now on Channel 4, the award winning documentary 'When Michael Met Joey.' This programme contains strong language and scenes some viewers may find disturbing."


Scene 1. INT. A care home.

JOEY: Wurggh urghh wurghh urrgh burrrgh.

MICHAEL: What?

JOEY: Urrrgghhh urgghh lurrgh.

MICHAEL: Fuck off Joey you big spazz.

MICHAEL picks up AK47, loads it, cocks it and releases safety catch.

MICHAEL: I'm fucking sick of you and your lip you sarky cunt.

MICHAEL opens fire at JOEY.

FX. BLAT! BLAT! BLATBLATBLAT!

MICHAEL: That'll shut you up you fucking lippy bastard.

FADE.
 
#7
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

Shakey said:
It was fucking quality.

That Sophie was an idle bitch wasn't she, fucking sloping off left right and charlie. She had more time off then Michael Ryan's safety catch.

They stick programmes like this and the one about Teenage Tourette's Camp on under the guise of 'documentary' but we all know that it's light entertainment really.

It's the modern equivalent of Bedlam.

Fxxxxxg quality "Shakey" , PMSL , :wink:
 
#8
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

sweeney

Lantern Swinger
#11
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

Lingyai said:
snapdragon said:
I didn't see it, but i think it'd be a shame if it turned out into a piss take, because i thought it was a good idea.
Waahhhh?????
ease to 5 comrade, I think snaps is taking the piss herself!

Ben is supposed to be learning kitchen skills but is just mooning about and getting in the way of the horseradish... Genius.
 
#12
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

The programme showed them working in the kitchen and as waiting staff for fuck's sake.

I just wouldn't trust them to wash their hands.

I remember this big students' union I used to work in, and there was this Philipino lad who was a bit special. He worked in the kitchen.

One day I saw him being chased out of the bogs by a big black geezer saying "Wash your hands you dirty little cunt!". He was walking away saying "I wash hands, I wash hands!"

His mum worked there too, one hot summer's evening the duty manager found her knickers in the fridge. She said it was to keep them cool. :shock:

*University of London Union, Malet Street, c. 1994.
 
#13
No i'm not taking the piss! Like i say, didn't see it, but i'd have thought that teaching those in question some skills that people might have thought were previously beyond them would be a good idea.
 

sweeney

Lantern Swinger
#14
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

Shakey said:
The programme showed them working in the kitchen and as waiting staff for fuck's sake.

I just wouldn't trust them to wash their hands.

I remember this big students' union I used to work in, and there was this Philipino lad who was a bit special. He worked in the kitchen.

One day I saw him being chased out of the bogs by a big black geezer saying "Wash your hands you dirty little cunt!". He was walking away saying "I wash hands, I wash hands!"

His mum worked there too, one hot summer's evening the duty manager found her knickers in the fridge. She said it was to keep them cool. :shock:
FFS PMSL NOW! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#15
snapdragon said:
I didn't see it, but i think it'd be a shame if it turned out into a piss take, because i thought it was a good idea.

"Snaps" if you'd seen it you would see it was a piss take , lasagne in his facial hair , quality television [not] , you would'nt want to stay there , :wink:
 

sweeney

Lantern Swinger
#17
dondon said:
"Snaps" if you'd seen it you would see it was a piss take , lasagne in his facial hair , quality television [not] , you would'nt want to stay there , :wink:
wouldn't wnat to saty there? Me and shakey are booked in! I told reception he was a downer an I'm going in at half price for being his handler.

2 NUM donkey jackets a carrier bag full of diamond white & a spazz chariot. Superb.
 
#18
Re: following on from heather mills blue sticker spazz threa

Diamond White! Whatever happened to the 6x3l case of Quite Frightening?

I'm going to chat up Michelle from housekeeping whilst I'm there, if she's got two blokes after her she must be a fox.
 
#19
sweeney said:
dondon said:
"Snaps" if you'd seen it you would see it was a piss take , lasagne in his facial hair , quality television [not] , you would'nt want to stay there , :wink:
wouldn't wnat to saty there? Me and shakey are booked in! I told reception he was a downer an I'm going in at half price for being his handler.

2 NUM donkey jackets a carrier bag full of diamond white & a spazz chariot. Superb.

Enjoy matey
 

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