Flipped or pissed, who cares?

If a ship is in Port too long do the crew get pickled. Is Madeira a piece of cake for a run ashore, and if you go to Santa Cruz, do you get a pressie from Father Christmas?
I went to Labrador and coped off with a dog and very much the same happened in Bakewell only she was a right tart.
I bet others have had a similar experience elsewhere.
Word Smithery required.

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